My Semi-Crunchy Life

Not the Last Time

2012-01-26T16:03:00.000-08:00

Earlier this week we ended up at the doctor's office for an urgent, unexpected appointment.

It had already been a long day. We had all gone in to the chiropractor since Hubby had a pinched nerve in his neck. The consult and appointment took much longer than anticipated so it was nearly dinnertime by the time we were heading home. We toyed with the idea of going out to eat, but, given our recent misadventures getting pho and the fact that we are trying very hard to stick to our budget, we decided against it. We had spaghetti sauce in the refrigerator and just needed to boil some noodles anyway.

As Hubby started getting dinner ready I went out and tried to make room in our garbage and recycle bins for this week's stuff. We didn't get a pick-up last week because of the snow and we downgraded our garbage service late last year, so it was a tight squeeze.

I came back inside and heard Beanie screaming. Like screaming, crying, and gagging. She has been extra emotional lately so this isn't all out of the ordinary, but my first thought was, What the hell is going on? Hubby said they had been having a hard time sharing and were working at taking turns on the trampoline. I went over to the playroom and Beanie was on the trampoline, holding her head, and crying. Bubby was throwing play tea cups and dishes at her. I hollered at him to stop while I washed off my garbage-y hands and told Beanie to come over. As I walked toward her I saw it.

A huge goose egg above her left eye. It had swollen up quite immediately. It was already all shades of purple and red. Apparently Bubby had some good aim and connection this time around (I'm guessing with a wooden block or some of the wood play food). I grabbed some ice from the freezer and put it on her forehead. She was not thrilled with that (AT ALL), but we stuck with it. Glenn took over ice duty and I called the doctor.

We'd had head bumps in the past, but this one was a lot worse. And big. After talking to the nurse we decided to go in. The things we needed to watch for (including Beanie being extra emotional or cranky -- she's 4 1/2!!) were not something I wanted to guess on this time. Glenn called in to work and we headed to the pediatrician's office.

We didn't get to see our normal pediatrician and the one we saw was so weird. She talked in this weird I'm-talking-to-a-three-month-old-baby silly voice. "Do you have a boo-boo? Does it hurt?" I wish I could describe her tone of voice in a blog post because even Beanie looked at her like she was nuts.

Went through all the little tests to make sure things were fine neurologically (they were) and headed back home. She let me ice her forehead a bit more and, luckily, the swelling went down fairly quickly. She still has a bit of a bump and a big shiner on her forehead, but I get the feeling she's been enjoying telling her preschool friends how she got it.

I'm sure this will not be the last time one of the kids injures the other, so I'll just take a deep breath and hope the next time doesn't come too soon.

It's Been a Long Week.

2012-01-21T18:12:00.000-08:00

We've had snow on the ground for the last week. That is a big deal around Seattle. Nine inches of the white stuff at our house. The last week has been a bit difficult. No preschool. No gym class. No playdates (which it seems that nearly every playdate we've had scheduled for the last six weeks or so has been cancelled due to illness on someone's part). The hubby took my car to work every day. Not that I would've gone anywhere anyway, but we were stuck. Cabin fever overload.

I'm sure it didn't help that I am on an increased dose of meds, but not really feeling the full effect yet. It didn't help that Hubby still had to work every day. I tried to remind myself of this when I kept seeing Facebook posts about how people were getting so much accomplished on these snow days -- housecleaning, baking, fun outside, etc; I tried to remember that many of them had an extra set of hands at home all week. It didn't help that the kids were (are) sick. AGAIN.

The hubby took Beanie out for a Daddy-Daughter date today. I took a nice long nap with Bubby. I still have the strong urge to get out of the house by myself for a few hours. Maybe tomorrow? Our neighborhood is still pretty slushy and yucky and yesterday we had difficulty coming up the one side of the hill. The Camry hasn't left the driveway in over a week and it's still covered in a blanket of slushy snow.

I tried to keep in mind that I was feeling quite cooped up and that it was surely harder for the kiddos.

Luckily we've had power the whole time. Quite a few friends have been without power, some for days. So -- knock on wood -- at least we have that.

And it's almost a new week. I'm thinking of deactivating my Facebook account for awhile again. I just feel like I'm stuck in this distracted place. Maybe I just need to set (and enforce) some restrictions after this hectic week and get back to being balanced and where I want to be.

Menu Plan Monday: 01/16

2012-01-16T08:53:00.000-08:00

Seems like as good a week as any to post up my menu plan. I actually have links to every meal, so that's nice to share. I'm glad we planned and shopped already because we have quite a bit of snow on the ground and more is expected later today.

Sunday: Meatloaf muffins with mashed potatoes (made with almond milk and coconut spread) and green salad.

Meatloaf muffins

(Meatless) Monday: Black Bean & Quinoa Burgers

Black Bean-Quinoa Burgers

Tuesday: Sweet & Sour Chicken with pineapple & green pepper. Served over rice. (Been wanting to try this since I saw it on Pinterest)

Wednesday: Italian Minestrone Soup (crockpot)

Thursday: Indonesian Chicken (crockpot)

Indonesian Chicken

Friday: Sloppy Joes (we use the whole can of tomato paste because we like them thicker)

Saturday: Date Night!! Applegate Farms hot dogs and fresh fruit for the kiddos. (After trying these we have decided we will never eat another kind of hotdog again!!)

***Visit I'm an Organizing Junkie for more menu ideas.***

Sunday Surf: 01/15

2012-01-15T16:08:00.000-08:00

I'm joining Authentic Parenting and Hobo Mama for Sunday Surf. Share your best reading of the week, and link up your post at either blog!
For more great reading, visit Hobo Mama or Authentic Parenting for the latest Sunday Surf and linky.
Happy Surfing!

******

Well, we have about five or six inches of snow here so it's been a quiet (and fun) weekend. Beanie is very excited about all the snow. Bubby enjoys looking at it, but is a little intimidated trying to trudge around in so much snow. He's quite happy to be carried around and look at it though.

Parenting

My Secret Life -- I loved this post on cutting out distractions and getting back to what's important. I've been making my time in the playroom "hands free" and am trying hard to move towards that in all my time with the kids.
Unwind -- This post about parenting and marriage really, really spoke to me. Like I cried reading it. Hubby and I went on a date last night. I wish we could find a way to go on more. Baby steps.
Did you check out the Carnival of Natural Parenting? It was all about experimenting with green living and I loved reading through the posts. Since the carnival I've been using a homemade facial scrub every day and I will never ever go back to using a commercial one. My skin feels so nice!

Secular Parenting

I really liked these two videos. I know, I know...not something to read, but they're good food for thought. Anything but an Atheist! and Anything but an Atheist II.

Birth

It was brought to my attention that the UW School of Nursing wants to end the nurse midwifery program because they said it didn't meet a "societal need." There's a petition on Change.org to save the program and I urge you to sign it

Well, that's all. Happy reading!

Cheater.

2012-01-14T19:38:00.000-08:00

I don't know what it is, but I've really been wanting to cheat on our diet lately.

It's usually not a big deal. I have never knowingly eaten anything that I knew could upset Bubby's tummy. I have been strict. I've missed things, sure, but knowing that my son feels 100% better (and, really, that I do too) makes it more than worth it.

Lately though? Things that are off limits have been sounding pretty damn good. Like when the hubby got some chocolate peppermint topped cheesecake for his treat on his night off. Or some yummy fresh baked sourdough bread. Brie. An apple fritter. I could really go for one (or all) of those right now.

It's weird. I usually don't miss things. I did for a short bit after each one of our unsuccessful reintroductions, but when I haven't had it for awhile it usually doesn't matter. It's usually the dairy too, since I felt like crap when we tried to reintroduce the wheat.

If you're on a restricted diet, do you ever find yourself craving things that are off-limits? Do you cheat? Do you just push through until the cravings go away?

All you need is....vinegar!

2012-01-10T02:36:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Experiments in Natural Family Living

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have reported on weeklong trials to make their lives a little greener. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

My cleaning cabinet has been cleaned out and restocked with just one product.

Image Credit: lisaclarke on Flickr

Vinegar.

The hubby would tell you that I've been toying with the idea of trying vinegar for cleaning for awhile. We'd switched to greener cleaners after having kids, and I figured what would be lost by trying out some vinegar? My mom used it a bit when I was little. It's safe for the kids. It doesn't smell (or at least doesn't make my house smell like it took a chemical bath). It's cheap.

When we ran out of our Method lavender spray, I rinsed out the bottle and filled it with (roughly) equal parts of vinegar and water and a bit of grapefruit seed extract (leftover from our recurrent bout of thrush in 2010). At first Hubby complained of the smell, but later I added some orange essential oil and it definitely cut down the vinegar smell. But, really, who wouldn't rather smell vinegar than some of those commercial cleaners?

I've used the vinegar spray on just about every surface in the house. It works great. The only time I noticed a slight problem was when I went to clean the mirror; it looked pretty streaky as I wiped (I'm guessing from the orange oil), but once it dried up it looked great.

One thing is for sure; I will never be buying a $3 or $4 bottle of cleaner at the store again. Considering the cost of a gallon of vinegar and the fact that it'll clean just about anything, I can't imagine coming to another conclusion.

I'd like to get a couple more spray bottles. One for just vinegar and another for a yet-to-be-determined concoction.

The other small change we made last month was trying to use rags instead of paper towels. We've had a stack of rags for the kitchen and other cleaning, but we often used paper towels for cleanups anyway. I've been trying to be more mindful and use the rags when cleaning off the counters, tables, and etc. That's what they are there for, right?

I'm still kind of new to this, so do you have any great "recipes" for cleaners? What do you use to clean in the kitchen? bathroom? windows?

***

Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

Make your own moisturizer! — Megan at boho mama whips up a winter skin-friendly moisturizer.
Cold Water Only — Brittany at The Pistachio Project talks about how you do not need hot water to wash laundry.
Family Cloth... Really?? — After lots of forethought and consideration, Momma Jorje finally decides to take the plunge with family cloth.
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle : 5-5-5 Things A Day — Luschka from Diary of a First Child writes about decluttering her home in an attempt to create a gentler living space. She takes on a new project where she sets a goal of reducing, reusing and recycling every day.
Pros and cons of family cloth — Lauren at Hobo Mama would love to continue replacing paper products with family cloth … if she could only get over how damp she feels.
Craftily Parenting — Kellie at Our Mindful Life finds that crafting makes her a better parent.
Changes — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen couldn't choose just one area to experiment with, so she wrote a long post about all the fun changes initiated in her life!
Life without Internet: Not all it's Cracked up to Be — Adrienne at Mommying My Way tries to go a week without the Internet, only to realize a healthy dose of Internet usage really helps keep this stay-at-home mom connected.
My Progression to Raw Milk — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares her natural parenting progression all the way to trying raw milk.
mama's new little friend. — Sarah at Bitty Bird tries a menstrual cup to "green her period," and is pleasantly surprised when she falls in love with the product!
Before you throw it out, try homemade laundry soap! — Jennifer at Practical OH Mommy shows visual proof that homemade laundry soap is cheaper, easier, and works better than the store-bought chemicals!
Oil, Oil, No Toil, No Trouble — K from Very Simple Secret talks about her foray into the oil-cleansing method.
I Need a Hobby — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro couldn't decide which experiment to run, so she did them all.
7 days of macrobiotics for a balanced family — The Stones make a [successful] attempt to release the "holiday junking" with 7 days of macrobiotic meals to balance their bodies and souls. Elisabeth at Manic Mrs. Stone includes an explanation of macrobiotics.
Chemical Free Beauty Challenge — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction turned to natural alternatives for her daily beauty and cleaning routine, with great results.
Greening my Armpits!? My Green Resolution — Shannon at The Artful Mama talks about how she decided to give up her traditional antiperspirant and make the switch over to crystal deodorants and definitely isn't looking back!
Going Raw (for a while) — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares her family's experience with raw food.
Do we get to eat gluten today? — Sheila at A Gift Universe has been trying to figure out if her son does better with or without gluten in his diet … but it's really hard to tell for sure.
Hippies Can Smell and Look Fabulous Too! — Arpita of Up, Down And Natural details her experience of going shampoo-free and overhauling her cosmetics to find the balance between feeling beautifully fabulous and honoring her inner hippie.
Our cupboards are full...but there's nothing to eat — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud takes on the challenge of chomping through the contents of her storecupboard rather than going shopping — but there's something that she just can't bring herself to do …
Elimination Experiment 3.0 — MudpieMama recounts the messy adventures of her baby daughter trying to be diaper free.
Family Cloth Trial — Amyables at Toddler in Tow talks about making and using family cloth wipes in the bathroom for the first time.
Taking a Hiatus — Amy at Peace 4 Parents shares how her experience of much less internet interaction affected her family and how it will change her approach in the future.
Trying Out the Menstrual Cup — Lindsey at an unschooling adventure ditches the tampons and gives menstrual cups a try.
Managing Food Waste in Our Home — Tired of the holiday waste, Robbie at Going Green Mama takes a weeklong focus on reducing food waste in her home, and learns some lessons that can take her through the new year.
Going Offline, Cloth Tissues, and Simplicity — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama muses over her time away from blogging and social networking. In addition, she shares her newfound love of cloth tissues and simplicity.
The Oil Cleansing Method — Erica at ChildOrganics explores an easy, organic and natural way to tackle skin care.
Experiments in Natural Family Living - Natural Toys! — Lani at Boobie Time enjoys the silence of natural toys and being more present with her son.
Discovering a New City and Organic Foods — Amy at A Secure Base describes her family's switch to and search for organic foods for one week.
My Experiment in Homemade Bread — Crunchy Con Mommy tried — and loved — baking her own homemade bread.
Menu Planning: Stop the Excuses — Gaby at Tmuffin stopped the excuses and started planning her weekly meals, drastically cutting her grocery budget and stress level and improving the quality of foods she fed her family.
My First Menstrual Cup — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children was pleasantly surprised with her first experience using a menstrual cup.
My Natural Beauty Regime — Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares the results of banishing cleanser and soaps from her bathroom, as well as a couple of natural homemade recipes that have worked well on her skin.
Unplugging and Creating a Rhythm: Our Experiment in Natural Family Living — Dionna at Code Name: Mama focused less on gadgets and spent more time with her family to create a healthy rhythm for the new year.
Experiments in Natural Family Living: 5 First Steps Toward Preparing for a Natural Birth — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama discusses how she tackled the pressing matter of how to begin preparing for a natural birth.
All you need is...vinegar! — Kristen at My Semi-Crunchy Life learns that one household product can replace all the cleaners in her cabinet.
Nope Nada Ixnay Negative Pass Decline — Zoie at TouchstoneZ finds out what shakes loose if she says, "YES!!" to anything anyone asks of her over the space of 10 days.
Reducing our exposure to toxins found in plastics — Syenna at Gently Parenting Twins throws out the melamine and BPA plastics which have been hanging around the kitchen for too long.
Duh! — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares how she began the process of helping her 2-year-old son stop physically acting out.
Experiments in Natural Parenting: Starting, Stopping, and Gaining Perspective — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings explains how pregnancy brain interfered with her attempts to complete an experiment, but how she gained some interesting perspective as she started and stopped several.
From Experiment to Lifestyle — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares her experience avoiding processed foods for a month, and deciding to make it a permanent lifestyle change.
From Disposable Paper to Reusable Cloth – AGAIN! — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle stops flushing trees down the toilet and switches to the softest ever butt-wiping material: cloth.
Extra! Extra! Water Heater Turned Down, Mom Doesn't Notice! — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis finds an energy-saving experiment that's so easy she didn't even realize it was happening.
Worm Tea — CatholicMommy isn't sure how successful her worm bin will be, but she's having fun anyway.
Miles to Go ... — Rachael at The Variegated Life learns that when it comes to sleep debt, she's in real deep.
My Month With Water Kefir — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries experiments with a new fermented probiotic drink homemade in her own kitchen.
OMG Mom is Home... All Day Everyday: A Week-Long Experiment in Connecting — What a difference a week makes! Ana at Pandamoly is afforded a week off from work and takes the chance to reconnect and reattach with her 16-month-old son through an experiment in simply being there.
Creating Healthy Family Recipes — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares her experiment with healthy, gluten-free recipes and a chocolate muffin recipe that was created during the experiment.
Adventures in Alternative Haircare: No 'Poo — This guest post at Natural Parents Network from Amy at Anktangle chronicles a months-long journey into the world of no 'poo.
My Experiment in Natural Family Living: Natural Family Planning — Birth control options are seriously limited for those of us trying to live a little closer to the earth, so Mama Psalmist experiments with natural family planning.

Sunday Surf: 01/08

2012-01-08T08:59:00.000-08:00

The 5 Building Blocks to Raising Resilient Children -- "We often think our job is to protect our children from tough situations, but in fact, our protection is only protecting us. We don't want to deal with their anger, sadness, and fear. In many cases, we were not allowed these feelings as children so we don't know how to manage our children's feelings. It's easier if they don't have them. When we overly protect our children and try to make them happy, we inadvertently reduce their ability to cope with life's inevitable frustrations and situations beyond their control."
25 Rules for Mothers of Sons -- This post, and its counterpart for Fathers of Daughters, has been pinned and repinned on Pinterest. I don't necessarily like how they are targeted towards sons or daughters as I think these are good "rules" for all.
10 Commitments That Will Make You a Better Parent -- LOVE this post! "Being a parent is tough. Most of us feel like we could do a better job, but resolving to be more patient rarely works. That's because sometimes the first step to being a better parent is actually about how we treat ourselves. We can only give what we have inside. "

Food & Diet

The Average American Ate (Literally) A Ton This Year -- 42lbs of corn syrup this last year?? Eeew. Glad to know our family has mostly eliminated that nastiness from our diet.
Cheeseburger That Stayed Exactly the Same After a Whole Year Raises Alarm -- As a friend said, "Even bacteria won't eat it."
Pepsi's Lawsuit Defense: Mountain Dew Would Have Dissolved Mouse Carcass -- Back in the day I worked the graveyard shift and smoked like a chimney. My co-worker gave me a hard time about it and I assured him that I was positive his drinking a six-pack of Mt. Dew each night was quite unhealthy too. I bet him that I could quit smoking and he couldn't quit drinking the Dew. I never smoked again. He was downing soda the next night.

Mental Health

The Fight Goes On -- One of the most honest posts about depression I have ever read. (warning: could be triggering for some)

Happy reading :)

C-O-F-F-E-E.

2012-01-06T18:21:00.000-08:00

The hubby always laughs when I sing the following song:

"C-O-F-F-E-E.
Coffee is not for me.
It's a drink some people wake up with,
That it makes you nervous is no myth.
Slaves to the coffee cup,
They can't give coffee up."

I laugh too.

It's sort of an inside joke with us.

The shocking part is that I learned this song in fifth grade choir. Wow.

I've been tired lately. So tired. Like drag my behind around all day and then lay in bed at night unable to sleep. Damn insomia. I'm sure part of it is the building stress we have going on right now. Part of it is the dreary, dark Pacific Northwest winter. Part of it is increased anxiety (and that is probably from reason #1).

For awhile I was drinking a lot of coffee. I used to try and skip my morning cup of joe if I thought I'd have an afternoon espresso. Lately it's been a cup in the morning (and, of course, a cup in the morning is really never one 8oz cup) and a good, strong homemade espresso in the afternoon.

The last few days I've skipped the cup of joe in the morning AND the afternoon espresso. Granted, I have had a nice cup of tea in the morning so I'm not really getting rid of caffeine, but I feel so much better. I was worried I'd be really tired or have a headache or something, but, surprisingly, I felt pretty good all day. I think I'll stick with the tea in the morning thing and see how it goes.

I'm not going to give up my afternoon espresso here and there though. Hubby makes a damn good espresso and it's a nice little treat in the afternoons. I'll just try to make it a sometimes thing rather than an every day thing.

***Wrote this yesterday to publish today & I did have a small cup of coffee this morning to start hubby's long weekend. Maybe I'll try to go a week straight with tea in the mornings and see how I feel???***

Finding my Voice.

2012-01-01T20:43:00.000-08:00

Ooh, my first post of 2012.

A clean slate.

A fresh start.

Something earth shattering or post-worthy or...

....just a post.

Just some randomness.

Just something to get me back in to writing.

Yes. That's all.

Today was a good start to the year. I got a lot accomplished. I vacuumed and dusted the master bedroom which may not sound like a lot unless you've seen my master bedroom in the recent past. We worked through the daily chores for the most part (and I'll post up my little spreadsheet later because a few people have expressed interest in seeing it). We had breakfast for dinner and I made extra waffles to freeze (used olive oil in my recipe because we're trying to get away from using canola oil and I think the taste was too strong -- I'd love to use coconut oil, but it's so expensive! Maybe half and half next time??) It was a gorgeous day and we played baseball outside a bit with the kids. I had wanted to go for a short walk with the kiddos, but Beanie has been chomping at the bit to play baseball since we cleaned out the last bit of stuff from storage at my sister's (including, of course, a bat, ball and mitt my dad had gotten for Beanie ages ago).

I started reading Freedom Through Frugality and I'm enjoying it. We've had to be pretty darn frugal by necessity, but the book does have some good ideas. We're already using many of them, but one we'll definitely be putting into practice this year is having a vegetable garden and canning/preserving. I don't know much about gardening, but I'm eager to learn and I received an organic gardening book that I'm itching to read through. I have a laundry list of things I'd like to plant -- carrots, squash, broccoli, peas, spinach, tomatoes, peppers, berries, and more -- but I want to start with some easy planting since I sort of have a brown thumb. Or, at least I did in the past. I really enjoyed cleaning out the garden space and I'm looking forward to having my own garden and taking care of it, so maybe that will help.

The four-year old is quiet (and hopefully finally asleep) and everyone else is already snoozing, so I'm off to read and wind down for bed. I'd like to add some fiction to my before-bed reading...any recommendations?

Is it really the end of 2011?

2011-12-31T13:18:00.000-08:00

It's been pretty quiet here. Last year I resolved to add myself to the list of people I took care of. I think I did pretty well with that. I know that I am doing so much better than I was last year at this time. I'm sure weekly therapy sessions for the last 13 months and (later) Zoloft have helped with that. The PPD/PPA has lessened and while I deal with my normal propensity toward anxiety, things are much improved. I feel like I can handle what comes my way.

If last year was about taking care of me, then this year will be about focusing on my marriage and my family. Now that I'm feeling whole again I can work on those other things.

Earlier today I read a friend's status on Facebook and it said that her focus in 2012 was going to be on balance and simplicity. I couldn't have said it better. I also hope to strive toward a more balanced and simple life. I just finished reading Simplicity Parenting and I think it provided some great food for thought. We aren't really over-the-top with our toys or activities, but there are some areas in which I know we could simplify and make things better. First, my cluttered house; both Glenn and I felt better when we had the condo for sale and everything was neat and tidy, and I'd like to get to that place in this house too. I'd like to cut back on being tethered to my phone, Facebook, and (my new love) Pinterest. I have this divine plan of divvying up the household chores into daily, weekly, and monthly tasks. I have a spreadsheet set up and I really think it will make things more manageable for me, especially because I become overwhelmed at the sheer amount of things I feel must get done.

Things have been going well, really well, the last few months. Maybe my quiet made people assume otherwise, but I've just been focusing on what's really important to me. I've been working on getting to the place I want to be in life. I haven't really felt like blogging about it. I've thought of writing in a journal (how old school lol), but haven't really done that either.

I'll wrap up with a list of things I'm looking forward to in 2012:

Monthly (at least) dates with the hubby (thanks sis for the babysitting coupons for Christmas)
Planning and starting our backyard garden
Canning and preserving with my new pressure canner
Trying out more vegetarian and vegan meals
Having an organized home
My work days at Beanie's preschool (since we signed up late I haven't actually had a work day yet)
Starting some sort of regular exercise again -- I'm thinking yoga and Hubby got me a Kinect and some games for Christmas
Going more green. As part of our very frugal holidays we made body scrubs for family members. I want to explore making more body care items. I've been using homemade cleaner for a bit here and I LOVE IT.

All right. I think that's it for now. Onward and upward.

Have a safe & happy New Year's Eve.

Books & Jeans.

2011-12-12T09:57:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was lamenting about how Beanie only has one pair of jeans that fit. How we made an Amazon wish list for the kids for Christmas and how everyone bought books. How I had asked for some jeans and clothes for her too. How I couldn't wait until our shipment from Osh Kosh showed up so she would have another pair of jeans.

My hubby replied that he was pretty sure no one ever grew up and worried about how they only had one pair of jeans that fit when they were four-and-a-half, but how people grew up (and grew intellectually) because they had many books to read.

Leave it to the hubby to keep things in perspective.

I love my husband.

That is all.

(And, don't get me wrong, I am super thankful that Beanie will be getting lots of books for Christmas. Really, that is what we wanted for her. I was just being emotional and am trying to re-tell the story. Don't want to sound like a thankless grinch ;))

Birth Thoughts (and please help support midwifery care).

2011-11-29T12:56:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot about pregnancy and birth lately.

Bubby's birth.

I don't know if it's because he is nearing two-years old and it's becoming more apparent every.single.day. that he is more of a toddler and less of a baby.

I don't know if it's because we've decided our family is complete.

I don't know if it's because I still haven't had a post-partum period and I'm all hormonal.

I don't know if it's because the midwifery practice that we transferred care to has been pretty effectively disbanded and now there is no longer real midwifery care at the hospital we delivered at.

I do know one thing. That is that if we hadn't transferred care to the midwifery practice we most certainly would not have had the birth experience we did. My midwife was caring and supportive, she encouraged me, and gave us what we needed -- just a little more time. Not to be watched on a clock. I wish I could have been less anxious during my early labor with Bubby; I wish I could have trusted that my body was doing what it needed to and that the timing was perfect, not something to worry about. Our midwife assured us of that and every went well.

This petition at change.org calls for the establishment of a true midwifery practice at the hospital. Please consider signing. It doesn't matter whether you birth with an OB in a hospital or a midwife at home, in a birth center, or in a hospital; the point is that every mother should have a choice.

Gluten-free, Dairy-free, Soy-free Thanksgiving.

2011-11-29T12:36:00.000-08:00

We did it AGAIN. Another year with a delicious gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free Thanksgiving dinner.

The spread.

Turkey.

Egg stuffing.

Marshmallow mashed sweet potatoes.

Mashed potatoes (made with coconut milk)

Gluten-free stuffing.

Pumpkin pie with vegan, soy-free whipped cream.

Thanksgiving Prep.

2011-11-22T13:04:00.000-08:00

This will be our second gluten-free, dairy-free, wheat-free Thanksgiving. I LOVE Thanksgiving, but we just weren't feeling like cooking this year. I also didn't feel like going over the mountains to my dads, nor did I trust my mother-in-law to actually cook according to our dietary restrictions (to her credit, I don't really trust anyone to cook to our dietary restrictions). I have two relatives with Celiac's and other family members who sort of haphazardly eliminate things from their diet and don't meticulously read labels (like my dad who served gluten free spaghetti and regular ol' bakery bread the last time we were over). Of course, that's their choice; they're adults and can cheat (or not cheat) as much as their little heart desires. Since Bubby can't choose for himself, I choose for him. And we don't cheat.

Anyway, we went from planning no Thanksgiving to having two Thanksgivings! Our small Wednesday dinner with my sister turned in to a dinner for eight. Then Thursday we'll go to my brother-in-laws. I feel somewhat safe eating the food there, but I'll probably bring food for Bubby and I just to be sure. My mother-in-law took great offense to this it seems, but, really, we were just trying to make things easier for them and reduce stress (and the chance of being up all night with a screaming almost two-year old) for me.

I'm going to make a pumpkin pie this afternoon (just as soon as I finish my coffee) and prep the stuffing later tonight. Glenn is in charge of the turkey tomorrow. We'll also have egg stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, vegetables, cranberry orange sauce, and some other dessert. Oh, and Stovetop. For some reason, my dear husband has a penchant for Stovetop stuffing so there goes our almost completely homemade Thanksgiving. I don't really care, although I do love giving him a hard time about it. I'm sure there's something else I'm forgetting.

I'll try to snap some pictures and post some recipes later.

But, don't hold your breath because seeing how my last post was on Halloween I'm not promising to get them up anytime in the next 24 - 36 hours ;)

Menu Plan Monday: Halloween

2011-10-31T08:34:00.000-07:00

I've promised myself I won't get swept up in Menu Plan Mondays, Wordless Wednesdays and the like. But I am really excited about our menu plan this week and I actually have links to almost all the meals so I thought it'd be a great week to share.

All meals are wheat-free (and mostly gluten-free), dairy-free, and soy-free, or easily adapted to be.

Black bean quinoa burgers on Udi's bread with spinach, tomato and avocado.

Sunday: La Bamba Casserole (no cheese or corn) with blue corn chips
Monday: Crock Pot Chicken and Dumplings (going to make biscuits on the side instead of dumplings bc both Glenn & Beanie prefer it that way)
(Meatless) Tuesday: (moved bc of Halloween) Black Bean Quinoa burgers (my friend who gave me this recipe said, and I agree, that the water to be added to the mixture must be a typo -- use about 3/4 of a cup)
Wednesday: Meatloaf Muffins from Cook It Allergy Free, with mashed potatoes and spinach salad
Thursday: Potato Omelet (from my Cooking Light cookbook, but I can't find a link online -- I'll keep looking!)
Friday: Mac and Beef (one of my mother-in-law's recipes that Glenn wants to try. We're using Ancient Harvest quinoa macaroni)
Saturday: Tostadas

I'm also planning on making some more pumpkin muffins (this is the same recipe I adapted earlier -- make sure you look around her blog, she has awesome ideas for bento boxes and more). Hopefully they'll last more than 24hours this time around ;)

Happy eating!

I'm linked up at I'm an Organizing Junkie, so click over to check out more menu-planning ideas.

The Itch.

2011-10-30T10:44:00.000-07:00

I keep getting the itch to blog again. I've been horribly absent. I'd apologize, but I'm not too sorry actually. I've been focusing on my family and getting our lives balanced and in order. Glenn has had more late shifts ("late" for him being normal for everyone else) so we've had time together. I've been reading and trying to restore some semblance of order to this catastrophe of a house. I'm feeling better though. I don't feel like my depression or anxiety rules me every day, so that's good. I feel like I am thinking more clearly, able to communicate better, and able to connect with Glenn and the kids. The only downside is this is all happening at the dark time of year and I am struggling with that a bit. I've upped my Vit D and I do think that helps. I should exercise, but that hasn't happened yet. We signed Beanie up for preschool. She loves it and I am so positive it was the best decision for our family. It was a hard decision since we'd committed to the co-op with our friends, but, once Grandpa offered to pay for preschool, it was really the only decision we could make. We are all so happy with it -- Beanie looks forward to it every day, it allows Glenn and I some time together, Bubby can play without being told what to do, hit, kicked, or pushed. Yeah, it has been good for everyone. We've been menu-planning, couponing, baking, and raking leaves (lots of leaves). I've been using the TV as a crutch again and I'd like to get away from that. We've been smoothie-making fiends. Bubby hadn't gained any weight between 15 and 18months so we're on the "get good food in the kid" diet. Smoothies consist of almond milk yogurt, coconut or almond milk, coconut oil, avocado, flax seed, fruit, and spinach. We all like them.

I keep struggling with what I unreasonably think blogging should be and what I need it to be for it to be sustainable. I love writing. I think blogging through the changes that are going on right now could be a good thing. And ~~since I haven't really learned my lesson~~ I keep toying with the idea of signing up for NaBloPoMo for November. The theme is "Blogging for Blogging's Sake." Somehow I think for me to really blog for blogging's sake I need to not commit to doing it every day. We'll see.

I'm completely inspired to minimize and organize our stuff. Glenn and and I are both so much happier in an organized and uncluttered environment, but achieving that ideal has been hard for us. I know it would be helpful for Beanie, too. Anyone do Flylady? I'm thinking of trying that.

What else? I have lots on my mind, but I'll leave my blog ramble at this for today....

Sunday Surf: 09/18

2011-09-18T12:55:00.000-07:00

Well, obviously it was a big fat fail at the blogging every day this month thing. Oh well. I'm not really worried about it as it's been a pretty crazy week here and, well, life got in the way of blogging.

You're Stupid Mommy! Go Away! You're Yucky! Ah, yes, we've been going through a "You're a bad mommy," stage here so this article was quite helpful.
Waking Up Full of Awesome I'm trying hard to remember I'm full of awesome, are you?
Do inspiring blogs make you feel bad about yourself? I'm glad a friend shared this in her Sunday Surf today. I remember chatting in the #ppdchat about how some of us felt the need to step away from reading blogs for awhile. Reminder: No one is perfect. Not you. Not me. Not that blogger who does awesome crafts with their children every day of the week as has home-cooked, baked-from-scratch meals three times a day. Don't forget it.

Happy Surfing!

Menu Plan Monday 09/12

2011-09-12T07:33:00.000-07:00

Now that we're back from vacation, I'm reading to get settled back in to our routine, including weekly menu planning. We really have been able to save a lot of money while still being able to eat organic (we mostly only buy organic for the dirty dozen and milk, although we add to our organic purchases as we are able to). Most of our food purchases are whole, fresh foods -- it's nice to see the grocery list coming together and the produce section overtaking everything else on the page. In recent months we've been eating out more than we'd like, but we really need to reign that in, too (and more than we'd like amounts to about two - four times a month). It's not as healthy for us and a real budget buster so we'd like to save any dining out for our date nights.

Without further ado, here is our plan for this week. All meals are gluten-free and dairy-free. Most are also soy-free.

(Meatless) Monday: Yam and Black Bean Burritos
Tuesday: Chicken Cacciatore (trying out my mother-in-law's recipe for the first time; I'll let you know how it goes!)
Wednesday: BBQ Pork Tenderloin with spinach salad w/ dried cranberries & almonds
Thursday: Rice and Beans
Friday: BBQ Flank Steak with quinoa salad (going to make quinoa with black beans and salsa -- super easy and yummy)
Saturday: Gluten-free pancakes (we've been using GF Bisquik because Glenn likes it the best, but I want to try out making some from scratch), eggs, and sausage
Sunday: Turkey burgers in a lettuce "bun" with spinach salad w/dried cranberries and almonds

I'm linked up at I'm an Organizing Junkie so click on over for more menu ideas.

Sunday Surf 09/11

2011-09-11T08:58:00.000-07:00

I wasn't reading too much this week. I was busy enjoying the view while we were on vacation in Pacific City, Oregon.

I did read a few good things though and here they are:

Are the "Terrible Two's" a cultural phenomenon? was quite interesting to me, especially given the fact that we have an almost 18mth old and four year old.
Gentle Discipline: Expressing Anger Healthily was a great reminder for me. I've been struggling with being really frustrated with Beanie. I also sometimes struggle with allowing her to express her anger freely, but I don't want to teach her that she can't express what she's feeling.
What Should a 4 Year Old Know? looks at what kids really need to know (and it has nothing to do with numbers, letters, or charts).

Short, but sweet. Happy reading!

Wheat. Take Three.

2011-09-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

I can't think of a better way to reintroduce wheat than to celebrate our anniversary with a cold, award-winning beer on the beach at the local brewery.

Bubby has been having wheat for a few weeks. We made the decision to reintroduce to him and to hold off on any reintroduction for me. As far as we can tell he seems to be doing fine with it. There was some question after he'd had it for about a week, but, luckily, it seems he just have a stomach bug. I've never been so happy for a stomach bug! I wouldn't say we're 100% sure that he's fine with wheat -- maybe 98% at this point. It's hard to tell with the little guy sometimes. He is a bit cranky, but I'm pretty sure that can be attributed to his cutting three more teeth right now. They keep coming in bunches and I can't really decide if that's better or worse, perhaps better in the long run, no?

I've only had the beers and plan to remain wheat-free (and mostly gluten-free). I just feel better not eating it. After talking with a naturopath, I wonder if Bubby was reacting to my antibodies earlier. I'm not sure exactly how that works (so don't ask!), but apparently if I had a problem with wheat he could be reacting to my antibodies.

He most definitely still has a problem with dairy. We had planned not to reintroduce that for quite awhile due to his bad reaction last time, but unfortunately we ran in to a very ignorant waitress who didn't know that butter is dairy. Eh....perhaps with the rising incidence of food allergies she should have been better informed. You would think. We will probably give the soy a try again soon just so we know. I'm not too keen on him (or any of us) having a lot of soy anyway, so we'll just see if there is something we're eating that he can try. I'm not going to go out of my way to reintroduce soy to him as we try to avoid it for the most part.

Plans.

2011-09-08T21:37:00.001-07:00

I had plans to blog today, but I had a clingy, cranky, I-was-up-every-hour-last-night, I-refuse-to-nap-until-I-basically-pass-out-from-sheer-exhaustion toddler on my hands.

So, I threw my plans out the window and more or less went along with his.

Nine Years.

2011-09-07T00:09:00.000-07:00

Nine years ago I said, "I do," to the love of my life, my best friend and my partner in crime.

Nine years later, turns out he's an awesome dad and a better partner than I ever could have asked for.

We've had our ups and downs, but we persevere and work hard at our marriage. The last year-and-a-half has been hard. Like HARD. I honestly think if we can persevere through what we've gone through in the last eighteen months that we can make it through anything.

I love you, Glenn. Happy Anniversary.

Awful.

2011-09-06T00:54:00.000-07:00

As a breastfeeding mom I'm glad that I have the support of my husband and the confidence to provide information to extended family members and/or let their comments slide right on down my back.

There are so many things wrong with the Evenflo advertisement....

The baby who is supposedly nursing, but so obviously positioned to just be cuddling on couch with mom.

The comments from the peanut gallery. About mom's breast size.

The husband sitting there playing on his phone while his mother gives his wife a hard time.

The mother feeling the need to go hide in a room and pump a quick bottle (which, seriously, did you see how much she pumped?? She has an awesome supply ;)) to placate her mother-in-law.

And the dad. Drinking the breast milk. The horrible looks on everyone's face. The slow motion. The comment that it must be 2% (i.e., sub-par in some way).

I mean, have you tasted breastmilk? It's pretty sweet. It'd probably be damn good in coffee.

I HATE this advertisement. I HATE that a company who used to be WHO code compliant is now so blatantly playing up the supposed "hard parts" of breastfeeding and undermining what many have worked so hard for -- REAL support for breastfeeding moms.

Read Annie at PhD in Parenting's take on the Evenflo ad. As always, she states things intelligently and causes you to pause and think.

Menu Plan Monday 09/05

2011-09-05T19:52:00.000-07:00

Menu planning has become a bit trickier lately as I am eating some soy and Bubby is now eating wheat (more on that later). I guess not so much tricky as we just need to make sure we have all the bases covered. Dinners are largely still eating gluten-, dairy- and soy-free, or quite easily adapted.

It's kind of a weird week for us, but here's our plan:

Monday: Teriyaki chicken wraps with broccoli and rice tortillas (We used San J gluten-free teriyaki sauce (contains soy), but we've used Coconut Aminos in the past with good results).
Tuesday: Dinner out with family???
Wednesday: It's our 9th wedding anniversary so we'll be going out :)
Thursday: Spaghetti (we usually use Trader Joes GF pasta, but I bought some De Boles gluten-free pasta because it was on sale at Whole Foods -- and had a coupon!)
Friday: Applegate organic hot dogs (OMG, I will never eat another kind of hot dog again!) with Udi's gluten free buns & fresh veggies
Saturday: Turkey Tostadas
Sunday: Chicken and Dumplings (I made the biscuits on the side this time because both Glenn & Beanie prefer it that way)

I'm linked up at I'm an Organizing Junkie so click on over for more menu-planning ideas.

Sunday Surf: 09/04

2011-09-04T08:21:00.000-07:00

I've finally gotten in to reading blogs again after quite a long hiatus. Just getting back in to it, but I've read a few really good things over the last week (or so). Here are a few of them:

Since we've been having some issues with four year old defiance (I keep reminding myself that her persistence and intensity will serve her well later in life), I really liked 10 Secrets Every Parent Needs to Know about Saying No at Aha! Parenting.
This video where the Car Seat Lady explains the new AAP car seat recommendations is a must see.
Just for fun -- 12 Great Parenting Products for Traumatizing Your Baby.
Oh yes, Twitter. I suck at it. And this guest post over at 5 Minutes for Mom let me know there's good reason for it & I'm not the only one! I am in love with the Crappy Pictures by Amber Dusick, probably because my artistic ability is about at the level of stick figures.
Education has been on my mind a lot lately, probably because next year Beanie will be in kindergarten and I'm having some second thoughts about not doing preschool this year, but Teacher Tom reminds us that Hey, It's not a Race!
Not a blog post, but this thread at CarSeat.Org is great for learning how to do the harness pinch test on your child's carseat.
This post by Amber at Beyond Postpartum really hit home for me as I've been working hard at breaking the cycle of anxiety and worry.

Head on over to Authentic Parenting for more Sunday Surfing.

Progress in the Garden.

2011-09-03T20:07:00.000-07:00

I've been pretty motivated lately to dig out the garden. Once my body stopped aching I got to work. I wish I'd taken a before picture, but just think completely overgrown, full of weeds, jungle garden. This is what it looks like now:

There are four blueberry plants in the far corner. We planted them last year and may add a couple more to that corner of the garden. I have dreams of a thriving vegetable garden. I'm cautiously optimistic as I have a self-proclaimed brown thumb. I have been known to kill off pretty much everything I attempt to grow, including a Christmas cactus. A friend suggested a few gardening books so I'm going to check those out, do some planning and hope for the best come next year!

Any green thumbs out there? Have any good tips for a newbie?

Giving up the Dishwasher

2011-09-02T01:11:00.000-07:00

When we were looking at homes to buy I was pretty adamant that our new places must have a dishwasher. I mean, what would we do? Wash the dishes by hand? Now, about two-and-a-half years after moving in, I'm thinking about saying to hell with the dishwasher.

I've been toying with the idea for a few months now. There are a few reasons. First, our dishwasher is a piece of junk so we pretty much have to scrub and scrape all the dishes before they go in the washer so it wouldn't really be that much work to put a little more effort (and soap) in to it and just do the whole job at the sink. Second, I'm curious how our electric bill would be impacted by eliminating use of our dishwasher. Third, water conservation. There are a few things holding me back too. First, the fact that I am just really starting to get in to a routine, back to normal, etc. Second, my kitchen can go from sparkly and shiny to this disastrous mess faster than you would ever imagine possible. Or, maybe it wouldn't surprise you if your household is anything like mine.

Is anyone here dishwasher-less? Did you have one before? Do you miss it?

The Return to Life.

2011-09-01T08:12:00.000-07:00

As I said before the theme for September's NaBloPoMo is 'Return.' I found this somewhat fitting for my return to blogging, but, more so, in my recent return to life.

I feel like post-partum depression robbed me of so many things over the last 17 1/2 months. I read a blog post quite awhile back (I think it was on Postpartum Progress, but last time I searched I couldn't find the exact post) about how having PPD made you feel like you were in a bubble floating over everything that was happening in your life. I can definitely relate to that feeling. I doubly kick myself because I don't have too many pictures of Bubby over the last 17 1/2 months. I guess I wonder if, without pictures, I will remember what all occurred while I was in that bubble. I am always thankful that my step-mom has her camera out and ready nearly every time they are over because at least those pictures serve to help me remember. Logically I know that, in the end, it doesn't really matter. Bubby won't grow up and wonder why there aren't a lot of pictures of his first year of life. He will grow up and thrive because of the love and attention he received during this period of time. Still, I have that guilt that the pictures aren't there, that I felt like a spectator in the highest, farthest away seat in the stadium and it was my own life.

At least now I feel like I am an active participant in life. Perhaps not fully to the extent I'd like to be, but we're getting there. I remember dancing with the kids a few weeks ago. Just happily dancing. Not watching them dance. I was there, in the thick of life, and loving it.

******

If you're a regular reader, you've probably noticed I've changed a few things up. New title. New layout. What do you think? If you're visiting from NaBloPoMo, say hi!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes....

2011-08-30T15:47:00.000-07:00

I've had that nagging feeling that I want to write and tinker around with the blog. I hadn't been feeling that way in awhile, but it's sort of been creeping up on my for the last week or so. I want to change a few things, write about a few things, reconnect a bit, and have some fun.

I also saw that the theme for September NaBloPoMo (which, as I've said before is now apparently NaBloPo~~eachandevery~~Mo) is 'Return" which seems somewhat fitting, so I'll probably give it a go and see where my writing leads me.

So, I guess I'll play around here for a few days and get to writing. I'll leave you with a bit of an update for now...

I'm still on the Zoloft and it seems to be helping a lot. We've adjusted my dose a bit and things are going well.

While I've been feeling pretty well emotionally, physically has been another thing. About two-and-a-half weeks ago I woke up in immense pain -- joint pain everywhere and muscle pain on top of it. It localized in my right arm and hand, to the point where I couldn't pick up a tortilla chip, grasp my phone or move the mouse without my hand aching terribly. One night on the way home from dinner my lips and tongue were numb. Things have been mentioned that scare me. Fibromyalgia. Progressive neurological disorder. Rheumatoid arthritis. I don't really have a clue what is going on. The pain is gone now and I'm back to just normal neck stiffness. I went to see a general practitioner and they drew a bunch of blood to test. I think they checked everything under the sun -- the general stuff, along with thyroid, iron, vitamin d, potassium, blood sugar, ran a rheum panel, and a few other things I can't remember. I'm waiting to hear the results. So, that really sucks.

I've been working on focusing on me, my marriage, and my children. I worked out in the garden the last couple days (somewhat amazing considering how I felt last week) and have high hopes for a vegetable garden in the next year or so. I know next to nothing about gardening, so I'll have to do my research. We've been working at eating more locally and it doesn't get any more local than your own backyard. I've been reading a lot. Finished Raising Your Spirited Child (which, I swear, the author wrote about Beanie) and am now reading Parenting Beyond Belief. I just ordered Raising Freethinkers with an old Borders gift card I found so I'm excited for that too.

Right now I'm sipping a coconut milk mocha and having some time for myself. I've been trying to be more vigilant at speaking up and taking time for myself, but it's been hit or miss the last few days. It feels nice to be sitting here alone.

It feels nice to be blogging.

A Mish-Mosh of Utter Randomness

2011-07-22T20:33:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been awhile, eh?

Where to start?

******

I started taking Zoloft four weeks ago. After feeling like I would surely lose my damn mind for about 48hours (which, not so awesomely coincided with the preparation for Beanie's party and the party) and feeling like intermittent waves of panic would strike at any time for about a week, I am happy to say that I am feeling better than I have in the last 16.5months. Probably. Still having some ebb and flow (to be expected I suppose) and I'm still on a very low dose. I also have a prescription for Klonopin for panic attacks, but, luckily, have only had to take 1/4 pill. Once.

I wasn't really feeling like blogging during this transition time. It was a difficult decision for me to go on the meds, one I've probably been considering since I started therapy back in December. It was time though. I haven't been the mom, wife, friend, person I've wanted to be in awhile. But, things are looking up. I may talk about it more later. I may not for awhile. I am glad I made this decision because I do think it's helping. I'm hoping it will be the little extra oomph I need to get to doing the things I know will really help me feel better.

******

Beanie's party was a big success. I'm absolutely certain she had a blast. She is already planning her fifth birthday party (and, I think, has been since two days after she turned four).

My little pirate.

******

I've been staying away from virtually all television and computer time in the evenings. I've found that if I read before bed I fall asleep more easily. So nice to not have a busy mind at bedtime. I've also covered up the alarm clock in the room (should probably just get it out of the room all together because we never use it) and it really helps to not have that awkward light in the room during those nighttime nursing sessions (which there have been a lot of lately as Bubby is cutting all four one-year molars at once). I haven't really felt like blogging even until the last few days. I've been trying to focus on myself, my family and the house. I've been reading mostly non-fiction (finished In Defense of Food (loved!!) and am reading Raising Your Spirited Child (Beanie to a T!!)).

******

What else? My neck and back had been feeling pretty good until a set back late last week. I now feel horrible again, at least in my neck. Had a good adjustment at the chiropractor today so I'm hoping things are looking up again soon. Was hoping this would be my last month of going so often and I could just drop in for the next few months until my insurance kicks in again for the new year. We shall see. Maybe I'll win the lotto between now and August 1st? Would help if I played, no?

******

I'll be around more often I hope. I'm here. Just working on taking care of me. I have a little blog project I'm working on (so far I'm just working on it in my head so we'll see what materializes) and I do miss reading others' blogs too.

Until next time....

Three Strikes.

2011-06-14T19:30:00.000-07:00

This last weekend included a lot of

vomitting,

laundry,

crankiness,

sibling rivalry,

anxiety,

and birthday party planning.

And not a lot of blogging.

Perhaps June, with all it's plans and busyness, wasn't the best month to revitalize my blogging self and try to blog every day....

On Food: Part One

2011-06-10T20:18:00.000-07:00

Last month Glenn came home from work and told me about what he's heard on NPR earlier that day. Author Michael Pollan had been on Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me. I hadn't heard of Pollan or his books, but what Glenn heard peaked my interest and now I'd really like to read The Omnivore's Dilemma and In Defense of Food. Actually, friends have told me they are very similar.

It's not that we ate horribly before, but if there's one thing I'm thankful for over this food journey with Bubby, it's that we are more aware of what we eat. We now eat a predominantly whole foods diet. We sort of have to, but I'm not sure we'd want to go back even if we could.

Like I said, we didn't eat a terrible diet before, but we just weren't aware. The classic example I give is when Glenn went out and bought a different brand of tomato paste than we usually use. He didn't look at the label and when I looked (after dumping it in our homemade pasta sauce of course!) I noticed the can said "Contains wheat, dairy, and soy."

What??!?!

Shouldn't it contain, I don't know, tomatoes and, um, paste?

All silliness aside, we didn't really pay attention to the extra stuff in our food. At first I'd get upset because Glenn didn't read labels as closely as I did. Then he started noticing. "This has soybean oil in it? Why?" Soy is a sneaky one. Check your pantry and I'm sure you'll find it places you didn't think you would.

We are devout label readers now. We have to be. At least we don't have to read as many labels since our shopping cart is primarily full of fresh foods. But I like that we're more aware of what we are putting in our bodies and that we are, in turn, teaching our children to be more aware as well. Beanie eats pretty darn well as is. She's never had a soda. We don't drink juice. She knows that McDonalds is a place "some people" go to eat. I was amazed when she told my dad that we had to take the jam back (Glenn had purchased the one on sale without double checking the label) because it had "stuff in it that isn't good for people," namely high fructose corn syrup and corn syrup. Really, both. And sugar. Bleh.

We're far from perfect. I don't claim to be. Beanie's favorite quick breakfast is an Eggo waffle (I'm thinking I should just make a big batch of waffles and freeze them? Or atleast starting to buy frozen waffles with an ingredient list that is a bit shorter). Until I watched Food Revolution I could down a whole box of Mike & Ike's in one sitting. But, we're making progress. We're getting there.

It's Friday and I'm off to catch up on Food Revolution. Love that show!

"I want nobody to take care of him."

2011-06-09T19:59:00.000-07:00

Those were the days....

It took nearly fifteen months, but today it happened.

And by it I mean Beanie asked to get rid of her brother.

I actually was surprised it didn't happen sooner, especially with his non-stop crying and colic before we figured out he had food sensitivities.

This afternoon/early evening she was having a very difficult time. I think she spent the majority of time in time out (which I somewhat reluctantly started trying with her when she hit her brother. I haven't been big on time-outs, but the constant clotheslining, hitting, shoving, and pushing of her brother had to stop and my therapist suggested trying this). She was overly tired and, at the same time, a constant ball of energy -- running around, jumping, screaming, and on and on. After her ten-millionth time out (or did it just seem that way?), she finally let it all out.

"No babies...no babies...no babies."

"I don't want a brother."

"I want it to be just mama....dada...and [Beanie]."

"How can we get rid of him?"

"What can I do? I don't like angry people."

"I want nobody to take care of him."

And there went my heart, broken in two. We try so much to give her individual attention and it just seems never to be enough. I have forsaken any opportunity to tidy up, establish some sense of order, etc while Bubby naps just to spend all my time one-on-one with her. Glenn and I set aside time for "dates" with her.

Bubby has been crankier than usual (hence the "angry people" statement). His bottom gums are incredibly swollen where his molars are (hopefully) about to cut through. He seems to be in the midst of a growth spurt. He can't decide whether he's a one-a-day napper or two. We tried the soy somewhat unsuccessfully (more on that later). He's at that stage where he wants to do a lot of things that he isn't ready to, or things he just can't (like play in the garbage or with the toilet water) so he's easily frustrated. It is frustrating to me; I can't figure out what's wrong with him. Any help I give seems marginal at best. I imagine it is 100x more frustrating for an almost four-year old who doesn't really have the ability to comprehend what it going on.

I held her and we talked. I assured her that it was okay to feel that way and that I was glad she told me. I knew this was likely and, dare I say, normal. Her actions have been telling us these feelings for some time now, but this was the first time she ever said it all out loud. I'm pretty sure I felt exactly the same way about my little sister when I was young; I'm also pretty sure I was not allowed to feel that way. I want her to feel okay expressing these things, they don't need to be hidden away, she isn't bad for feeling them -- all those things I was made to feel when I was younger. I'm going to try my hardest to support her in any and every way I know.

It still breaks my heart though. I'd give anything for each of them, and hate to see Beanie in so much turmoil. I feel like I've failed her somehow. Obviously, this is a huge trigger for me and I'm just so sad tonight. What an end to an already rough evening.

If you're a mom of two (or more), how have you gotten through this stage?

"Girls Can Be Pirates Too."

2011-06-08T20:26:00.000-07:00

Image credit: mikebaird on Flickr

Beanie will be four at the end of the month. As birthday planning commenced (a whole six months before her birthday) Beanie decided that she wanted to have a pirate birthday party. Cool, I thought. It's a nice change from the princess party, a character party, or etc. We play pirates quite a bit; she sets up chairs to make a pirate ship, she has a telescope, and we go digging from treasure around the house. A pirate birthday is perfect for my little girl.

I can't tell you how many times I've been asked if we're doing "girly pirates," as if girl pirates need to have heart-shaped eye-patches and pink clothing. I overheard my father-in-law telling her about piratesses (???) and later she told me that grandpa said she could be a pirate queen or princess. The pirate stuff was in the boy's section at one of the party stores we checked out.

Glenn and I told her that if people started telling her what kind of pirate she "had" to be, that she could just reply, "Girls can be pirates too!"

Because they can.

And they can be any kind of pirate they want to be.

On Hold

2011-06-07T20:41:00.000-07:00

I had a copy of Raising Your Spirited Child on hold at the library. I didn't pick it up in time, so I guess I'll have to put a hold on it again.

Darn. I really have a feeling it could come in handy.

I mean REALLY.

Especially these last few days.

Menu Plan Monday: 06/06

2011-06-06T04:00:00.000-07:00

This week is save money and go through the freezer week. We're trying to stick to $125/week for groceries (including Costco). I'm sure this sounds outrageous to my couponing friends, but between my special diet, trying to eat organic when we can, and Costco (which I'm really trying to figure out if it's worth it for us; we've cut down to only absolute staples there and we try to find them on sale elsewhere beforehand. It's nice to know we can get some ground turkey at a reasonable price if our freezer stock is gone though) $125 adds up fast.

I've also tried to really cut back on the food items I buy. Like coconut milk coffee creamer is A MUST. Cannot live without. But gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free waffles? More like a once in awhile thing. It's hard because I still go through phases where I feel like there's nothing in the house I can eat, but I try to make sure I have an adequate supply. Like today I got two Lara Bars and two Amande yogurts (almond milk yogurts which are pretty good; I wasn't a fan of the coconut milk yogurt I tried so we checked this one out. Tasty, but little nutritional value; I think I'm just in a missing dairy phase...). Also trying to stock up on fresh fruits & vegetables and nuts for my evening snacks. I guess I'm just mostly trying to eat foods that are naturally free of gluten, dairy and soy.

Enough rambling. Here's our menu.

All menus are gluten-free, dairy-free and soy-free, or easily adapted to be.

Sunday: Turkey Tostadas
Monday: BBQ Chicken with homemade potato salad and fresh veggies
Tuesday: Vegetarian Stuffed Peppers (we're winging this -- some sort of concoction with lentils, rice, veggies, etc)
Wednesday: Breakfast for Dinner
Thursday: BBQ Pork, polenta and green salad
Friday: Leftovers
Saturday: ??? We'll have to grocery shop again on Friday so....

Sunday Surf: Late Edition

2011-06-05T20:18:00.000-07:00

I haven't really been reading a lot lately. Well, except for links I see on Facebook. I'm trying to get back in to reading the blogs I enjoy, but here are some of the best things I read last week:

I was sad to read in Bringing Nature Play Back that the average child spends only a 1/2hour per week engaged in unstructured outdoor play. I really like the idea of a dedicated digging pit. One of my favorite memories is playing for hours with my sister digging and playing in the dirt. I'm sort of sad we don't have a dirt area for the kids to dig in; they can help with the garden (once we finally get it going), but I think we'll save some garden boxes or get containers that are their own little spaces, too.
There's a Summer Reading Challenge over at No Time for Flash Cards.
Enter to win an Ergo baby carrier over at Job Description: Mommy. Or don't, giving me a better chance to win (just kidding!)
A good reminder to take a break from technology and Be in the Moment.
A good overview of carseat types and information over at The Stir.
Amanda at Let's Take the Metro reminds us that by believing that we are enough we teach our children that they are too in I am Enough.

I haven't linked up (maybe I will when I get regular with posting these), but you can check out more Sunday Surfing over at Authentic Parenting.

Just what I needed

2011-06-04T21:09:00.000-07:00

Quite awhile back I'd scheduled a mom's afternoon out for today. Just a quick trip to a local coffee shop. I always feel like I can be a better parent when I take the time to refresh and rejuvenate. I've been involved in other mom's groups that do a lot of mom's night outs, but those never really work for me (since, you know, my kiddos fall asleep by nursing). I'm glad there's a pretty good response in our AP group for afternoon mom's only events; babes in arms are always welcome and, in fact, even those that don't always like to stay in arms are welcome, too.

As today started I found myself wishing everyone would just cancel and I didn't have to go. I get in moods like that sometimes. Bubby has been very cranky lately (molars, a bit of a cold last week and the soy reintroduction turned out to be the triple threat) and only mom will do. Beanie has been having an especially rough time; it finally clicked that it's probably quite taxing on her to have an upset little brother screaming and hollering all the time, too. As I was getting ready to leave, both kids were sprawled out on the hallway carpet, not happy campers. Glenn got them up and took them in to the back yard and I finished getting ready. I said my goodbyes and made my way to the coffee shop.

It was just what I needed. Many times when I start feeling like our day is spiraling out of control I feel like just hunkering down and staying in. I forgot how much a change of scenery can help, not only for the kids, but for me too.

I sat outside in the sunshine (it's absolutely gorgeous here this weekend!), tried hemp milk for the first time (it was good, but I think I prefer rice milk lattes), and made a new friend. The other mom I met is also gluten-free, dairy-free and soy-free (imagine that!) so we had lots to talk about. Her daughter is just a week older than Beanie and they attend a local UU (Unitarian Universalist) congregation (do you call UU establishments "churches," I don't know. Not something we're interested in right now, but I've definitely thought of it.)

My sister came over later and we played outside with the kids, BBQ'd, and roasted marshmallows. It was a good day.

Sometimes when I just want to hunker down and hide from the world I really just need to get out and confront the day head on. Easier said than done.

Zucchini Bread

2011-06-03T20:33:00.000-07:00

Zucchini Bread

I'd been wanting to make zucchini bread for quite a long while and we finally got around to it. I've been pretty pleased with how all my breads have been turning out, so yay! I used a tiny bit of xanthan gum, but I think I probably could have left it out since there was so much moisture in the recipe anyway.

If we ever get around to planning and planting our garden, I'd love to grow some zucchini and yellow squash. The weather this weekend is forecasted to be spectacular, so maybe we'll get around to weeding and digging out some of the old owners' stuff in the next few days. We need to do the digging quickly as some plants are popping up that are really encroaching on our blueberries.

Zucchini Bread

Ingredients:

4c coarsely shredded zucchini
3c gluten-free flour (I use Bob's Red Mill GF All Purpose Baking Flour)
2c sugar
1c canola oil
4 eggs (beaten)
1Tbsp + 1tsp pure vanilla extract
2 tsp cinnamon
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp ground cloves
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp xanthan gum
1/2tsp gf baking powder

Directions:

Generously grease two bread pans. (I use Spectrum palm shortening)
Beat all ingredients at low speed, scraping bowl constantly.
Pour in to pans and bake at 325 degrees for 50-60minutes (or until toothpick comes out clean).
Cool ten minutes, then remove from pans.

Enjoy!

"He's Really Attached to You..."

2011-06-02T21:26:00.000-07:00

As I stated earlier, my inlaws moved back recently. After a hello and a kiss (oh, I am so not the huggy and kissy type), my mother-in-law said to me, "We heard [Bubby] is still really attached to you, so I guess we won't be getting any hugs."

I was pissed.

I don't know why, other than the obvious negative connotation she implied. It was an accurate statement. Bubby is really attached to me. The likelihood that he would give a near stranger (sorry grandma, but you haven't seen him since he was 2months old which makes you pretty much a stranger) an instantaneous hug was slim to none. As I relayed this story to my therapist she asked me what I could have said in response. I replied that I could have said, "Yes, he is. We don't see him being attached to his mother as a problem."

Ooh, I wish I would have thought of that one on the spot!

Children who are securely attached grow up being trusting of others and without concerns of abandonment; they have a high degree of self-worth and feel liked. Attachment is "a secure base from which to explore close relationships."

My children know that they can count on us, as their parents, to be a safe haven and a place of comfort. They know that from that safe place they are free to explore their world and live to their fullest potential.

And, you know what, that's exactly what he did. Once he got acclimated to the situation, a new environment, new people and three little yip dogs pitter-pattering around, he was running around blowing kisses and giving away hugs.

So there.

Score: Secure attachment - 1; Nay-sayers - 0

Just Me and My Blog.

2011-06-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

Three. Three posts in May! Eek. I have got to get out of the blog rut. I decided to sign up over at NaBloPoMo (which apparently is now National Blog Posting ~~Each and Every~~ Month) and commit to blogging every day in June. (We'll see how it goes!)

It's not that I don't have anything to say. I do. I've been unreasonably hard on myself about what I have to say, my anxiety is at a level not seen since my college years, the PPD is still ever present, I have physical problems coming to a head besides my horrible neck and back pain (but, on the upside, I may actually have a diagnosis for what is going on) and it's just been a hard time for my family -- all of us.

All that complaining (or was it just explaining) to say that I'm here. And I'm going to write. I don't know what about. We've slowly been reintroducing soy. My inlaws moved back here. We're starting up Beanie's co-op preschool adventure. The weather is getting nicer. I want to start making our household cleaners. We've been talking a lot about food (real food) vs. food products. I don't know what the next month will bring, but I'm just going to carve out time to write. Time that is just for me. Where I don't have someone peering through the door jam as I pee. Or yelling at me that the sparkles on their shirt are hurting them. Or wanting to stay latched on 24/7.

Just me. And the computer. And my blog.

The theme (which I can tell you right now I won't be sticking to) for June NaBloPoMo is "Fan."


Image credit: SCA Svenska Cellulosa Aktiebolaget on Flickr

No, not that kind of fan.

The kind that cheers you on and supports you.

The kind of fan people like to have when blogging.

Sometimes it seems like it's a competition. How many followers do you have? How many page views? What do you write about? Who reads? Who comments? Do people share your posts on Facebook? Retweet your tweets?

I just want to get back to where it's just writing. Because when you're just writing, the rest falls in to place.

It's not like this blog is paying the bills, after all.

Quiet.

2011-05-20T21:20:00.000-07:00

I'm having a hard time enjoying the peace & quiet that comes during the evenings in which Glenn and the kids are all in bed relatively early.

I should be reveling in the joy of a couple hours to myself, but instead I find myself lonely.

Sad.

Anxious.

Depressed.

I could be scrapbooking, reading, folding clothes, day-dreaming, but instead I just sit.

And stare at the mind-numbing TV (can we just cancel our cable already???).

Or the computer.

I could be blogging and saying something, but instead I feel like nothing is good enough to say.

I mean, who wants to read about this crap?

And the rapture is happening tomorrow and I didn't even get to Flying Apron beforehand.

P.S. The rapture isn't really happening tomorrow.

P.P.S. Maybe soon I'll have something nice to say.

Finding My "Me Time"

2011-05-19T20:59:00.000-07:00

Image credit: dbphotography on Flickr

I'm struggling to figure out what I really want for my "me time."

A couple weeks ago I had the great idea to go to a local coffee shop and read a book. Their coffee is delicious and I haven't been there in a long time because they didn't have rice milk (they do, however, have hemp milk but I haven't been too keen on wanting to try that). Anyway, since we've slowly been reintroducing soy (more on that later, but we think it may be going okay, or at least that he can tolerate smaller amounts in my breastmilk) I decided to go there and enjoy some me time.

Glenn took the kids and I headed out to the coffee shop. I had my copy of Unconditional Parenting in my purse and I was looking forward to reading. First thing I pull in to the shopping center and realize it's quite busy and there's nowhere close to park. I circle around and end up getting stuck in a line of cars waiting for the garbage trucks to empty every.single.dumpster. I immediately started getting anxious, but I reminded myself that I was alone, albeit in my car stuck waiting for the damn garbage man. I turned on some music and tried to relax. Finally I was able to park and walked over to the coffee shop.

It was packed.

If there's one thing I really don't like it's crowds. They cause almost immediate anxiety for me. It definitely wasn't quiet in there. I ordered my coffee and decided to try and sit and read for a short while.

I texted a friend and joked that the next time I got out for quiet time I was going to head to the university library.

It just wasn't what I needed that day. I came home and realized that Glenn and the kids were still out. I took a long shower. I read a bit at home.

I know I really need to get out for some time to myself. It's nice to be at home when Glenn takes the kids out, but I really thrive when I can get out.

I'm just going to have to find a new spot. Like the quiet corner in the Health Sciences Library where I read journal article after journal article for many a day.

Maybe a walk by myself?

Any local friends know a quiet coffee shop?

What do you do for time to yourself? Do you find it difficult to get out and actually meet your needs?

Sticks. And Stones. And Words.

2011-05-06T14:00:00.000-07:00

To this day my mother finds it necessary to tell me what an awful little child I was.

Horrible.

A terror.

Two thoughts come to my mind as these things come up. As I look at my lovely, spirited, sometimes challenging daughter I wonder how anyone could possibly label their child with such awful words, no matter what they were doing. I also wonder why there is any need to keep talking about this nearly thirty years later.

Perhaps it bothers my mother that I have a completely different outlook on parenting and children than she did. Perhaps to admit that I really wasn't such a horrible little demon after all would cause her to have to re-examine her role as a parent. I don't know. I know that my actions so often retold (over and over again) don't really seem that out of the ordinary to me. I dumped all the diapers out of the pail and all over the floor? I'm sure many a child has done that. Was jealous of my little sister, unsure of my new-found role in the family and acted out for love and attention? Check, check and check.

For over thirty years I have accepted the "fact" that I must've been a really difficult child. Becoming a mother (and growing personally in my role as one) (and therapy) has made me realize that there really wasn't anything wrong with the way I acted as a child. I was normal. I wasn't a bad three year-old, nor was I a terror to be around. I was a kid. A kid who did kid things and expressed myself the only way I knew how.

Perhaps these realizations are what makes me really ache when Beanie is having a rough time. I view what she's experiencing through the eyes of three-year old me. But it's not the same for her. She's free to be whomever she wants to be, her parents love and support her no matter what she does and we enjoy the good times and take the more difficult ones as opportunities to grow.

Minimizing Distractions and Focusing on What Really Matters

2011-04-27T08:21:00.000-07:00

I've been working at really being present with my kids. Not checking emails on my phone or thinking about the chores that need to be done. Just being completely present, enjoying their company and giving them my undivided attention.

I'm still not back on Facebook. I miss some things about it, but other things not at all. I'll be back. Someday.

Right now I'm enjoying getting back to what really matters.

Branson over at My Reflection of Something contacted me to write a guest post about distractions and focusing on what's important. I jumped at the chance. I've been meaning to write about it for quite awhile (I think I have a draft from back in December) and I was excited to finally get it all typed out.

Head on over, check it out and join the discussion there.

Minimizing Distractions and Focusing on What Really Matters

(And, while you're there, check out some of Branson's photography -- it's great!)

Menu Plan Monday: April 25

2011-04-25T00:39:00.000-07:00

We had a really good week last week. The yam and black bean burritos were a hit! They were a quite delicious start to our goal of one vegetarian meal a week and we will definitely be making them again. Soon. We'll probably add another can of black beans next time, but no changes otherwise!

Shabby cell phone pic of definitely-not-shabby yam & black bean tacos.

Glenn also had the idea to take out cash for our weekly food budget each week and then when it's gone, it's gone. Food is really where we spend the most money (and blow our budget). It's hard to keep our budget as low as we'd like (or, really, we need) when I am on this restricted diet. Not that we used to eat a lot of crap anyway, but still. It's still more expensive. I will be excited when the farmers markets start up next month; it will be something fun to do with the kids and we can stock up on good fruits and vegetables.

This week our cash is in an envelope -- we'll see how it goes. We'll have to save up any leftover money for our Costco trip. I'm hoping to cut those back, too.

Indonesian Chicken

All menus are wheat-free, dairy-free and soy-free, or easily adapted to be.

Sunday: Pasta sauce from freezer with Trader Joe's organic rice pasta
Monday: Sloppy Lennies
Tuesday: Meatloaf Muffins with mashed potatoes and green salad
Wednesday: Indonesian Chicken served over steamed spinach and rice (sub Coconut Aminos for soy sauce)
Thursday: Leftover night
Friday: Breakfast for dinner
Saturday: BBQ Chicken with homemade potato salad and green salad with strawberries

Click on over to I'm an Organizing Junkie for more menu planning ideas.

Sometimes.

2011-04-24T20:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just feel like I'm waiting. Waiting for something. Waiting for many things.

Sometimes I feel stuck. In limbo.

Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning. Or like a time bomb about to explode.

Sometimes I feel like I'm ninety, not thirty-one. I can barely walk. I'm in so much pain. My head is pounding. I feel like I'm going to vomit.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm a big fat failure at this parenting thing.

Sometimes I want to get out for some time to myself, but I just don't know where. I don't want to talk to anyone. Not even long enough to order a coffee.

Sometimes I look at my daughter, her hair glistening in the sun and smile wide across her face, and wonder how I got so lucky.

Sometimes I look down at my son as he smiles at me while he's nursing and know I wouldn't trade anything for being where I am.

Sometimes I look in to my husband's eyes and know that I couldn't have a better partner in all of this.

Fortunately the good sometimes are starting to outweigh the bad ones.

Sunday Surf: April 24

2011-04-24T19:38:00.000-07:00

I unplugged a bit more than I had originally intended for Screen Free Week and it was really, really nice.

I did have the opportunity to read some really good stuff over the week though and here are some of my favorites.

Annie at PhD in Parenting writes about body image in Do you like you?
Teacher Tom talks about how education (and teaching) is nothing special; Education is Life Itself
I couldn't agree more with Mamapoekie's take on normalizing extended breastfeeding.
Brittany at Birth Unplugged is writing a series on Birth Idealization Traps. Her first post is on The Trap of Idealizing the Intervention-Free Birth.
I love this post on Embracing Our Flaws and Mistakes as Mothers over at Postpartum Progress. This is something I've really been working on.

Head on over to Authentic Parenting for more Sunday Surfing.

Menu Plan Monday: April 18

2011-04-18T00:01:00.000-07:00

Another attempt at weekly menu planning. We've actually been doing pretty well. I was going to try and post up last week, but didn't get around to it. I realized nothing I was making had any links so you didn't miss much!

I didn't go grocery shopping today, so I'm hoping that doesn't throw a kink in things. We have plans every day this week. It really helps us to go shopping just once, but with playdates every day, four doctor appointments, and family in town we're going to have to work to make that happen! One shopping trip -- I'm aiming for Monday afternoon before my chiropractic appointment or maybe Glenn can take the kids with him while I'm at my appointment.

Enough about that, here's our weekly menu plan:

All menus are wheat-free, dairy-free and soy-free, or easily adapted to be.

Sunday: La Bamba casserole (no cheese)
Monday: Chicken and Dumplings (we're going to try the gluten-free Bisquik for the dumplings this time. We usually use Bob's Red Mill gluten free biscuit mix, but Glenn doesn't care for it much.)
Tuesday: Stuffed Peppers
Wednesday: Broccoli Beef (I use Coconut Aminos in place of the soy sauce)
Thursday: BBQ Chicken (crossing fingers for good weather) and Texas quinoa salad (I'm going to try and recreate a chilled salad I got at PCC -- it was quinoa with tomatoes, chiles, roasted red pepper, and cilantro)
Friday: Yam and Black Bean Burritos (I think we are going to start trying for one vegetarian meal a week. I'm really excited about this! Glenn just wants to make sure we have good recipes to cycle through. We had these at our friend's house and they're delicious! So, send me some vegetarian recipes!)
Saturday: ??? We have family in town and are coloring Easter eggs, so who knows. Maybe leftovers? Maybe we'll go out?

I'm linked up over at I'm an Organizing Junkie so click on over for more menu planning ideas.

Sunday Surf: April 17

2011-04-17T20:37:00.000-07:00

Not much reading this last week with a never-ending migraine, a hectic week with kiddos and more, but I did want to share a few things I really enjoyed this last week.

Did you check out the Carnival of Natural Parenting? This month's theme was compassionate advocacy. Here are a few of my favorite posts. I can't wait to go through and read some more of this month's posts.

Just Be; Just Do from Amy at Anktangle
Passionate and Compassionate: How Do We Do It from Kelly at Becoming Crunchy
Everyday Superheroes from Code Name: Mama

And a few more:

I liked this post from Natural Born Mama about how no one really fits neatly into one category or another in the so-called mommy wars.
Some good information about Vitamin D supplementation while breastfeeding.
Don't forget to check out the Natural Parenting Blog Party.

Sort of a lackluster week, but, hey, that's how it goes sometimes. I'm hoping for a headache free week this week. I'm back to using my Posture Pump after giving it a break for a few days, so I'm hoping things keep moving in the right direction.

Screen-Free Week: April 18-24

2011-04-17T10:25:00.000-07:00

Screen-Free Week is this week, April 18-24. And just in time.

This morning I was making breakfast sandwiches for everyone and Beanie comes in the kitchen singing, "It's fun for you...It's fun for me..."

What song is that, I thought.

Yes, my daughter was singing the Xfinity advertisement.

I think she had just heard it on the TV as Glenn flipped it on, but still.

We don't watch much TV with the kids, but we have been watching more than I'd like lately. With PPD, horrible back pain, neck pain and headaches and a teething one year old it's been easy to slip into the habit of turning it on in the morning and then just leaving it on. I'm okay with our normal TV habits with Beanie -- a show while I nurse Bubby down for nap and a show or two before bedtime. I would like to get away from mindlessly having the TV on and from her seeing any parts of adult shows. Or Xfinity ads because, damnit, now I have that tune in my head.

Where I'd really like to make a change is with my screen habits. I don't turn on the computer unless everyone is sleeping or Glenn is with the kids. I don't really watch TV until everyone is in bed either. But, I check Facebook and emails all the time on my smart phone. Mindlessly check it. Do I really need to check it 200 times a day? Did anyone comment on my status? Does anyone like my picture? Did anyone read my link? Does anyone like me??? I'm in a place where I've been taking things too personally too, so I really feel the need to step back. I had to do it before with my online mommy boards. Now it's time to cut ties with Facebook, at least temporarily. I'm going to deactivate my account for a week. A friend suggested that was extreme, but I know if I don't actually deactivate it I will check it. "Hello, my name is Kristen and I'm addicted to Facebook." As for emails, do I need to feel like I should drop everything and check that email the instant it arrives? Do I need to respond lest I forget later when I actually get on the computer? And, no mind-numbing TV in the evenings. I just have it on for noise, mostly, because there aren't many shows I like watching lately. Except Food Revolution just started.

So, I'm going to unplug more. I'm not committing to being screen free. In fact, I know I won't be. I'll check emails once or twice a day. I'll blog if I feel like it. The point is to be more mindful of media and how we interact with it.

Are you participating in Screen Free Week 2011? What are your plans?

The Natural Parenting Blog Party

2011-04-15T21:06:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to get on and write a quick post about this, but it's been a rough week. I've had the headache that just won't stop -- the kind that comes and goes and debilitates you and nauseates you. I think the combination of corrective care on my neck and personal stress is just too much right now. My chiropractor thinks the stress is probably playing a greater role, so I'm going to try and rejuvenate a bit this weekend.

The Natural Parenting Blog Party is hosted by The Peaceful Housewife and is going on right now. I'm excited to find some new blogs to read (I've decided to spend more time reading, whether it be blogs or books, and less time staring mindlessly at stupid stuff on the Internet).

Anyway, here's a bit about me:

How many children do you have, and how old are they? Two, Beanie is almost 4 and Bubby just turned 1
Do you have a partner, or are you a single parent? I have an amazing husband who I totally take for granted sometimes. He really is great. Works his butt off at work so I can stay-at-home with the kids and then comes home and helps around the house more than anyone I know.
What are your “hot button” parenting issues? The two I feel most strongly about are breastfeeding and informed birth choices.
Have you made any parenting choices that you didn’t think you would make before you were a parent, i.e. cloth diapering a child when you had previously thought it was disgusting? I said I'd never cosleep -- haha! I LOVE cosleeping.
Is there one book or person in particular that’s heavily influenced your parenting choices? Not really. Just learning to trust my own instincts.
If you had to describe each of your children using only one word, what word would you use? Beanie: Energetic, Bubby: Observant
Is there one parenting decision that you regret more than others and wish you could change? I regret not transferring prenatal care earlier with my son. We transferred at 34 weeks and had a great experience. I wish we would've trusted that switching was the right thing to do earlier on.
Is there an area of your parenting you wish you were better at? Right now? Gentle discipline.
Now for the fun questions – is there one particular food or type of food that you could eat every day? I think I could eat pho every day.
Vanilla ice cream or chocolate? Usually I'd say vanilla, but since I'm dairy-free for my son I prefer chocolate coconut milk ice-cream. I think the chocolate flavor masks the coconut flavor better.
What’s your guilty pleasure? Hmmm -- I have food on the mind because of the ice-cream questions, so coconut milk ice-cream or some tasty cookies.
If you could be part of any television show, which show would it be? The Daily Show or The Colbert Report. I miss cable when I think about those two shows.

Well, that's all for now! Looking forward to finding some new blogs to read. Hope you do, too!

Three Years!

2011-04-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

Image Credit: nlmAdestiny on Flickr

It's my blogiversary, my blog birthday, my whatever-you-want-to-call-it. I've been blogging for three years.

Actually, a little longer. I had a short-lived blog where I mostly ranted about things that bugged me. Like pharmaceutical ads on TV. And how organic good-for-you food costs so much more than a box of crap. And other things I'm sure. Like I said, it was short-lived.

But, this blog is three years old!

I've come a long way, baby.

When I started this blog I was tired. I was conflicted. I was trying to sort out what really felt instinctual to me as a parent and what society said I should be doing. Now? I'm comfortable. I've evolved in my parenting (don't we all?). I'm confident. It doesn't matter to me what others are doing or what they think we should be doing.

I'm not tired. Well, no, I am sometimes (who isn't?). Not all the time though. And every time I see that damn URL I think about the mama I used to be. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Just the where I was versus where I am now. It also makes me think about how evolving as a mother has really changed me as a person. For the better.

Stay tuned.

The Importance of Advocating Compassionately

2011-04-12T04:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Compassionate Advocacy
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared how they advocate for healthy, gentle parenting choices compassionately. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
***

I've written this post at least a dozen times in my head. I have drafts in Blogger. So, when I saw that the topic for April's Carnival of Natural Parenting was "Compassionate Advocacy" I knew it was time to polish this off.

Recently a friend told me that she thought I was rare in the fact that I was "crunchy," but not judgmental. I respectfully disagree. I think that many natural parenting advocates are characterized by the actions of a few, making compassionate advocacy even more important.

I am a strong, respectful and compassionate advocate because I desire (and expect) to be treated with respect and compassion, because I don't know what the person before me said, and because you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

The blanket statements, the "Oh, you just needed to do x,y, and z," and name-calling can become rampant on online mommy boards. It seems much too easy for some to forget that there is a person behind that screenname, a person who has thoughts and emotions and struggles just the same as you do. A person who, perhaps, planned endlessly for an unmedicated birth, but ended up with a cesarean section. A person who tried so hard to breastfeed only to be told they weren't making enough milk, baby wasn't gaining enough weight, and they needed to supplement. A person who wants to parent gently, but struggles because of how they were raised. And, sometimes, a person who has read, educated themselves, and just chosen to do things differently than you do.

I know many lactivists, birth advocates and et cetera just wish people were truly informed. We want people to be informed and empowered as they initiate their breastfeeding relationship. We want people to know there are risks associated with epidurals, continuous fetal monitoring, routine IV fluids and other birth interventions, and that it's okay to ask your care provider about these things and expect an honest answer (not just an "it's hospital policy"). Sometimes our message is lost in the quest to disseminate information. Sometimes a few are disrespectful and judgmental and give a bad reputation to the many who follow behind them. Sometimes we forget that even the most factual statement can have loaded meaning to a mother who has been hurt or felt judged in the past. Sometimes we say, "Oh I'm so sorry, this is what worked for me," when just an "I'm sorry," would suffice.

I have mentioned before that I link a lot of blog posts and articles on my personal Facebook page. Most are parenting oriented, although I throw in political, diet-related or philosophical links in sometimes, too. I post all these links not to annoy the heck out of people trying to quickly scan through their news feed, but because you never know who you might reach, who might need to read that particular message that particular day. I have an eclectic group of friends on Facebook -- friends from high school I haven't seen or talked to in nearly fifteen years, friends from college, friends from kung fu, from my old job, other moms, relatives -- and I post things because I hope that maybe just one person will say, "Oh, I never thought of it that way before." Maybe one person will decide to see an Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant for a second opinion. Maybe one person will decide they are unhappy with how they are being treated at prenatal appointments and transfer care. Maybe one person will realize they are not alone in their struggles, whether they be in gentle discipline, nighttime parenting, or potty learning.

When I was pregnant with Beanie I joined an online birth club board. We were all due in the same month and bonded strongly. I remember struggling when Beanie was a newborn, wanting sleep and wondering if I would ever sleep again and one mom asked if I had ever considered cosleeping. I hadn't, but that one shared idea made an impact, we tried it, and things improved from there on out. I joined another online board when I was pregnant with Bubby, but was not nearly as involved as I had found my groove, so to speak, and didn't have all the questions or need the confirmation that I was doing right as a parent. I did, however, feel that I had the opportunity to respectfully provide an alternate view on some topics, to share our experience, what we had learned, and where to go if someone was looking for more information. I hoped that I could be the one to share an idea someone hadn't considered before.

I don't spout off the latest research and information to every unsuspecting friend and family member, but I keep sharing information in the hope that I can reach just one person. Who knows what they may do with their newly acquired knowledge? It could change their thinking or free them from the idea that there must be something wrong with the way they are doing things because (it seems) they are doing things so differently than others. With every interaction I strive to be the most respectful, non-judgmental and compassionate advocate I can because that's the face I want to put on natural parenting. Because that's who I really think we, as natural parenting advocates, are. Because I expect nothing less in return.

***

Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

Natural Parenting Advocacy by Example — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction uses her blog, Twitter and Facebook as her natural parenting soapbox.
You Catch More Flies With Honey — When it comes to natural parenting advice, Kate of The Guavalicious Life believes you catch more flies with honey.
From the Heart — Patti at Jazzy Mama searches her heart for an appropriate response when she learns that someone she respects wants his baby to cry-it-out.
I Offer the Truth — Amy at Innate Wholeness shares the hard truths to inspire parents in making changes and fully appreciating the parenting experience.
Advocating or Just Opinionated? — Momma Jorje discusses how to draw the line between advocating compassionately and being just plain opinionated. It can be quite a fine line.
Compassionate Advocacy — Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting writes about how to discuss topics you are passionate about with people who don't share your views.
Heiny Helpers: Sharing Cloth Love — Heiny Helpers is guest posting on Natural Parents Network to share how they are providing cloth diapers and cloth diapering support to low income families.
Struggling with Advocacy — April of McApril still struggles to determine how strongly she should advocate for her causes, but still loves to show her love for her parenting choices to those who would like to listen.
Compassionate Advocacy Through Blogging (AKA –Why I Blog) — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how both blogging and day-to-day life give her opportunities to compassionately advocate for natural parenting practices.
A Letter to *Those* Parents — Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares how to write an informed yet respectful reply to those parents — you know, the ones who don't parent the way you do.
Why I Am Not A Homebirth Advocate — Olivia at Write About Birth is coming out: she is a homebirth mom, but not a homebirth advocate. One size does not fit all – but choice is something we can all advocate for!
Why I Open My Big Mouth — Wolfmother from Fabulous Mama Chronicles reflects on why she is passionate about sharing parenting resources.
Watching and Wearing — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life advocates the joys of babywearing simply by living life in a small college town.
Compassionate Advocacy . . . That's The Way I Do It — Amyables at Toddler in Tow describes how she's learned to forsake judgment and channel her social energy to spread the "good news" of natural parenting through interaction and shared experiences.
Compelling without repelling — Lauren at Hobo Mama cringes when she thinks of the obnoxious way she used to berate people into seeing her point of view.
I Am the Change — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro describes a recent awakening where she realized exactly how to advocate for natural parenting.
Public Displays of Compassion — The Accidental Natural Mama recounts an emotional trip to the grocery store and the importance of staying calm and compassionate in the storm of toddler emotions.
I will not hide behind my persona — Suzi Leigh at Attached at the Boob discusses the benefits of being honest and compassionate on the internet.
Choosing My Words — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares why she started her blog and why she continues to blog despite an increasingly hectic schedule.
Honour the Child :: Compassionate Advocacy in the Classroom — Lori at Beneath the Rowan Tree shares her experience of being a gentle and compassionate parent — with other people's children — as a classroom volunteer in her daughter's senior kindergarten room.
Inspired by the Great Divide (and Hoping to Inspire) — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis shares her thoughts on navigating the "great divide" through gently teaching and being teachable.
Introverted Advocacy — CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy shares how she advocates for gentle parenting, even though she is about as introverted as one can be.
The Three R's of Effective and Gentle Advocacy — Ana at Pandamoly explains how "The Three R's" can yield consistent results and endless inspiration to those in need of some change.
Passionate and Compassionate: How do We do It? — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares the importance of understanding your motivation for advocacy.
Sharing the love — Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine talks about how she shares the love and spreads the word.
What Frank Said — Nada at miniMOMist has a good friend named Frank. She uses his famous saying to demonstrate how much natural parenting has benefited her and her family.
Baby Sling Carriers Make Great Compassionate Advocacy Tools — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey shared her babywearing knowledge — and her sling — with a new mom.
Everyday Superheroes — Who needs Superman when we have a community of compassionate advocates?! Dionna at Code Name: Mama believes that our community of gentle bloggers are the true superheroes.
Words of advice: compassionately advocating for my parenting choices — MrsH at Fleeting Moments waits to give advice until she's been asked, resulting in fewer advocacy moments but very high responsiveness from parents all over the spectrum of parenting approaches.
Peaceful Parenting — Peaceful parenting shows at Living Peacefully with Children with an atypical comment from a stranger.
Speaking for birth — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud soul-searches about how she can advocate for natural birth without causing offense.
Gentle is as Gentle Does — Laura at A Pug in the Kitchen shares how she is gently advocating her parenting style.
Walking on Air — Rachael at The Variegated Life wants you to know that she has no idea what she's doing — and it's a gift.
Parenting with my head, my heart, and my gut — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares her thoughts on being a compassionate advocate of natural parenting as a blogger.
At Peace With the World — Megan at Ichigo Means Strawberry talks about being an advocate for peaceful parenting at 10,000 feet.
Putting a public face on "holistic" — Being public about her convictions is a must for Jessica at Crunchy-Chewy Mama, but it takes some delicacy.
Just Be; Just Do. — Amy at Anktangle believes strongly about her parenting methods, and also that the way to get people to take notice is to simply live her life and parent the best she knows how.
One Parent at a Time... — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment believes that advocating for Natural Parenting is best accomplished by walking the walk.
Self-compassion — We're great at caring for and supporting others —from our kiddos to other mamas — but Lisa at Gems of Delight shares a post about treating ourselves with that same sense of compassion.
Using Montessori Principles to Advocate Natural Parenting — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells how she uses Montessori principles to be a compassionate advocate for natural parenting.
Advocacy? Me? — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante discovers that by "just doing her thing," she may be advocating for natural parenting.
Feeding by Example — Mama Mo at Attached at the Nip shares her experience of being the first one of her generation to parent.
Compassionate Consumerism — Erica at ChildOrganics encourages her children to be compassionate consumers and discusses the benefits of buying local and fair trade products.
The Importance of Advocating Compassionately — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood acts as a compassionate advocate by sharing information with many in the hopes of reaching a few.
Some Thoughts on Gentle Discipline — Darcel at The Mahogany Way shares her thoughts and some tips on Gentle Discipline.
Compassionate Advocacy: Sharing Resources, Spreading the Love — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle shares how her passion for making natural choices in pregnancy, birth, and parenting have supported others in Dominica and beyond.
A journey to compassion and connection — Jessica at Instead of Institutions shares her journey from know-it-all to authentic advocacy.
Advocacy Through Openness, Respect, and Understanding — Melissa at The New Mommy Files describes her view on belief, and how it has shaped the way she advocates for gentle parenting choices.
Why I'm not an advocate for Natural Parenting — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog delivers the shocking news that, after 10 years of being a mum, she is NOT an advocate for natural parenting!
Natural Love Creates Natural Happiness — A picture is worth a thousand words, but how about a smile, or a giggle, or a gaze? Jessica at Cloth Diapering Mama’s kids are extremely social and their natural happiness is very obvious.
Carnival of Natural Parenting: Compassionate Advocacy — Even in the progressive SF Bay Area, Lily at Witch Mom finds she must defend some of her parenting choices.
A Tale of Four Milky Mamas — In this post The ArtsyMama shares how she has found ways to repay her childhood friend for the gift of milk.
don't tell me what to do — Pecky at benny and bex demonstrates compassionate advocacy through leading by example.

Beanie and the Woodpecker.

2011-04-11T13:09:00.000-07:00

"Hey Mommy, I have a great idea. Next time a woodpecker comes to our house I'm gonna say, 'Hey woodpecker, hey woodpecker don't peck our house. Why don't you go peck a tree? They're made of wood too, you know. Otherwise where will we live?"'

I wonder if the woodpecker will listen?

Sunday Surf: April 10

2011-04-10T09:40:00.000-07:00

Well, I missed last week of the Sunday Surf so I'll have a few extras for you. Glenn has been on vacation (again! I could get used to this two-weeks-on-one-week-off thing -- I'm sure he could too!). It's nice that we've been able to have the evenings together after the kiddos go to bed and, sure, I missed my blogging time a bit, but I'm sure I'll miss our evening time together even more. Of course I will! It's easy to forget how much his schedule really impacts things (especially us having time to ourselves). It's nice to be able to chat, drink wine, and watch good shows together. I'm sure this next week will be a hard adjustment for all of us.

But, without further ado, here is my double edition of the Sunday Surf.

The Connected Mom tells us Four Lies Sleep Trainers Tell You (and One Truth They Won't)
What do you do when you're feeling judged, scrutinized and debated about your parenting decisions? Pass the Bean Dip, of course!
A good reminder that part of gentle parenting is being gentle to yourself (especially when you have a three year old!) in "Three" is the New "Two"
A guest post at the Leaky Boob reminds us that wallowing in guilt over past decisions can do more damage than the decisions themselves.
An article at NPR looks at how even beginners can get relief from meditation. Meditation was my primary coping mechanism during both my labors and I really want to get back in to meditating regularly.
This article from last summer discusses how creativity in America is declining.
I can definitely relate to this post from Robin at Farewell Stranger about how PPD stole the joy of motherhood from her.
Robin at Farewell Stranger also posted about the P!nk song "Perfect." Like Robin, I don't care for P!nk most of the time, but I heard this song on the way to the counselor one day and almost cried.
I think I've fallen in love with Teacher Tom's blog. I could link a few posts I've read lately, but, really, pretty much anything I read there could pop up on my 'favorite reads of the last week' list.
A new parenting book club was announced at No Time for Flashcards. The first book is Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen. I've talked about this book before and I can't wait to join in the discussion.

So(y) Slowly

2011-04-09T14:52:00.000-07:00

We made the decision to slowly reintroduce soy into my diet. I've been taking my prenatals which contain soy lecithin in them and we have added a few more products with it in them, too. It's nice to be able to use cooking spray for my poached eggs for instance, although I revert to using olive oil, the soy-free Earth Balance spread or nothing out of habit anyway. I tried some wheat-free chocolate chip cookies from PCC. They were quite delicious and I'll be buying them again for sure.

The plan is to progress to adding soybean oil into my diet, although I'm really not too excited about that. Soybean oils are present in many processed foods, but I'm still planning on avoiding those as much as I can. The most exciting thing about soybean oil is that maybe I can use a few of the salad dressings I like (and that isn't really exciting at all).

After consuming a diet that includes soy lecithin and soybean oils for a bit, then we'll try to add some soy protein. We can add some tofu to our stir frys and we'll see where to go from there.

I guess if Bubby doesn't have any reaction to the above, then we'll give him some soy. He is very interested in food now which is cute. I knew we just had to wait and he would be ready to nom-nom-nom. He wants to eat everything in sight now, although he still has some troubles with textures and bigger pieces of food (bigger being a relative term -- he likes his bites very small). All in good time. I'm glad I was able to (mostly) trust my instincts on this one and (mostly) not worry. I'm sure he'll be eating us out of house and home in no time.

No Fooling.

2011-04-01T20:37:00.000-07:00

Image credit: das farbamt on Flickr

I wrote before about how I was starting to feel better, almost like a cloud had been lifted from over me. Of course, there is the inevitable ebb and flow to feeling better. That is normal to anyone's life, but for me, right now, it's a bit more challenging. I feel thrown for a loop every time things seem to be getting so much better only to have another kink in the road. I know that's how it goes. It's like climbing the switchbacks on a trail. You just keep plugging along and sooner or later you'll reach the top.

I feel like I'm pretty close to the top. I don't want to jinx myself and come crashing down, but I feel pretty good. I have things I want to do and I feel like I can (if only colds and flu bugs didn't keep getting in the way!). I have ideas and I want to implement plans to make them happen. I feel optimistic. I don't want to take everything on at once, but I really feel like these baby steps will eventually get me somewhere. I'm no longer feeling so paralyzed by that perfectionist voice in my head. Surely I have many things to work through with counseling, but I feel like the debilitating PPD has eased itself.

I feel like April is my month. No fooling.

Now if we can just all get physically well then we'll really be rolling.

March of Kindness Wrap Up

2011-04-01T20:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm a day late. Remember that whole 28 hours of things to do in 24 hours? Yup. Still there. I'm looking forward to this new month; I'm feeling good and like I'm ready to move forward. But, I did want to post a little conclusion to our March of Kindness with Code Name: Mama.

I think our month really went well. I had originally thought we could focus more kindness on strangers or in the community, but it turned out our family was really in need of some kindness. As I've stated before Beanie has been having some difficulties and we've really been focusing on making her know she is an important and integral part of this family. We've been doing girls dates (or daddy/daughter dates), spending quality one-on-one time with her every day, having girls time after the boys are in bed, playing more Chutes and Ladders than you could imagine (any suggestions on another board game to pick up? We need to add one to the rotation!). Glenn and I have been working on reconnecting. We both needed to be kinder to ourselves and to each other. We worked on extending kindness to our extended family. I worked on reaching out to friends whom I've lost touch with over the last year.

The last week was more about kindness to others outside of our family. I got some clothes packed up to mail to my sister-in-law and I donated clothes that I've been telling myself I'd try and sell on Craigslist (I mean, seriously, there comes a point when you just need to get rid of them! How long am I going to tell myself I'll try to sell them?). When we went to the grocery store the VFW was there collecting donations for care packages for the troops so we bought some things to contribute. Beanie was very excited she got a flag after dropping her donations in the bucket.

I'm glad we participated. I knew we wouldn't be doing anything earth shattering, but I'm glad I was more mindful each day of the ways I could be kinder to myself, my family, my friends and others.

If you're interested in more March of Kindness, read the final wrap-up at Code Name: Mama.

Writer's Block in Reverse

2011-03-30T20:25:00.000-07:00

I have all these ideas about things I want to write about. Things I want to say. Get off my chest. The ideas overfloweth so to speak.

But, I'm also trying to find that delicate balance in life. The life where there are only 24hours in a day and at least 28 hours of things to do.

I have to get back to reading Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves. I really like the ideas in it. It closely mirrors some things my counselor and I have been talking about when we discuss parenting issues. It's due back at the library tomorrow and it's likely I'm going to have to donate to the library and keep it for an extra day or so. You know, donate my late fee.

I'll leave you with this quote I read as I was waiting at the chiropractor's office this afternoon:

"People with great passions, people who accomplish great deeds, people who possess strong feelings, people with great minds and a strong personality rarely come from good little boys and girls." -- L.S. Vygotsky (from aforementioned book)

Babywearing Guest Post at Natural Parents Network

2011-03-28T07:49:00.000-07:00

I am super excited to let you know that I have a guest post over at my favorite website, Natural Parents Network, today. If you haven't checked out NPN, then you are really missing out.

When I heard they were looking for a guest post on Using Nurturing Touch, I knew I wanted to write about babywearing. If you know me, you know I'm big on babywearing. I'm sure it has made our last year much, much easier than it could've been. I don't blog about it as much as I should, but there isn't a day that goes by where we don't wear Bubby, even now at one year old.

So, grab a cup of coffee, read up, and join the discussion at Natural Parents Network.

Babywearing: More than the logical choice

Menu Plan Monday: 03/28

2011-03-28T07:44:00.000-07:00

Well, our first week back in to menu planning went pretty well. The weather was nicer than expected a few days so we barbecued. And we ended up making breakfast for dinner one night as Bubby's well check exam ran into our usual dinnertime. We also ended up going out to eat one night with my sister. And, somehow, our leftovers never seem to make it around for Leftover Buffet -- I don't know if it's that Beanie is eating more, I always eat leftovers for lunch, or what.

We didn't make the chicken enchiladas last week, but we ended up making them tonight. I've found that gluten-free tortillas just don't roll up quite as nicely (or really at all) as their gluten counterparts. It's somewhat frustrating trying to eat a taco or enchilada or what-have-you and have it crumbling apart before your eyes. Tonight I decided that instead of making my enchiladas the usual way that I would just layer the tortillas, chicken, sauce and olives into a dish. It worked out pretty well!

Deconstructed Enchiladas. Forgive the cell phone pic.

All menus are wheat-free, dairy-free and soy-free or easily adapted to be.

Sunday: Chicken Enchiladas
Monday: Whole Chicken (in the crockpot)
Tuesday: Stuffed Peppers
Wednesday: Leftover Buffet
Thursday: Broccoli Beef
Friday: Stir Fry (with coconut aminos sauce)
Saturday: BBQ ??? (I'm holding out hope for nice weather sometime this week!)

I'm linked up an I'm an Organizing Junkie so click on over for more menu planning ideas.

"Who is this?"

2011-03-27T09:40:00.000-07:00

Who is this person taking me away from my family?

I don't even know him.

I'm here. Alone. With him.

He's crying. What do I do?

I know he's mine, but I don't even know who he is.

I've gone over these thoughts over and over in my head since my counselor asked me what I remembered about my immediate post-partum experience. At the time, nearly four months ago, I told her that I remember feeling relieved that Glenn had three weeks off work, that we had time to adapt to being a family of four, that it was so much nicer than when he had to go back to work the night we came home with Beanie.

And then I thought about it some more. Bubby was born at 3:43 A.M. Sometime before six my sister (who was staying with Beanie) called Glenn's phone. Glenn was asleep while I was sitting there holding Bubby. I answered the phone; we had told my sister to call if there were problems. Beanie was hysterical. She hadn't slept well and my sister couldn't get her to go back to sleep. She was crying, saying she wanted me, saying she needed me, she couldn't sleep. She missed me. Oh, I missed her too. I woke Glenn up and told him to go home.

Then I sat there alone with my new son. I was anxious. I cried. I called the nurse for help with diaper changes, burping him, calming him, everything. I wanted to know Beanie was okay. I wanted Glenn there with me. I knew we were a family of four now and we had to take care of both our children, but I so wanted to be with the family I knew. This little guy? Who was he?

I worked to remember the nuances of nursing a newborn. I looked at my son and marveled at how much he looked like his sister. How he was smaller than I thought he would be. How he had blonde hair and blue eyes just like his sister. I held him and cuddled him. But, who was he? I didn't know him and I was entirely responsible for him?

I made the decision not to be discharged later that day, to wait until the next morning. I don't know if it was the right decision, but it sure seemed like it at the time. We had been up for over 24 hours when Bubby was born and I hadn't slept much after his birth either. I felt like one more night at the hospital might be a good idea. Looking back, things were so much easier when I was able to come home and be with my family, my whole family. I wonder if we would have been better served coming home that same day. Surely there were no complications to keep us there.

That night was difficult as well. It was quiet, just me and Bubby. Glenn and Beanie had stayed most of the day, some family had come to visit, my sister came again later that night. But, as it was dark and evening fell it was just Bubby and I. I was alone with this little person I barely knew.

I felt really bad about all this until a friend commented on my Life Lessons from my Children post that she hadn't felt love at first sight either. It clicked that it was okay I didn't feel this immediate connection with Bubby. Of course, our attachment has grown by leaps and bounds over the last year.

I wonder how things would have been different if I'd given birth at a birth center, had a home birth, etc. If I'd gone home the day he was born. If...if....if. I know I'll never know. I'm not sure it matters. In fact, I'm sure it doesn't. I love my son and I can't imagine life without him. And I'm learning to accept that it's okay it wasn't love at first sight.

Sunday Surf: March 27

2011-03-27T09:13:00.000-07:00

Here, here to my 2nd edition of the Sunday Surf. Here are some of the best posts I've read in the last week.

A reminder from the Hippy Housewife to Beware of the Baby Trainers.
In case you missed it, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) updated their recommendation on car seats.
If you have questions or think the new AAP recommendations on rear-facing carseats until age 2 are too much (they aren't!), read Rear-Facing Until 2 Years Old: Why Not? And, for what it's worth, Beanie rode rear-facing until she was over 2 1/2 and she's so tall she was the height of an average four year old then. Your child is not too tall to ride rear-facing.
Sheila at A Gift Universe wrote this well thought out and informative post on Food Sensitivities.
Interesting article that doesn't weigh in on whether or not people should be religious, it just looks at mathematical models that point to the idea that Organized Religion 'will be driven toward extinction' in 9 countries.
Catherine Deveny writes that all children need is to know they are loved.
Lauren at Hobo Mama wrote a guest post about preparing an older sibling for a new birth at PhD in Parenting.
Mamapoekie talks about spring cleaning in cyberspace, something I think is a great idea.
Read Ina May Gaskin's Vision for the future of maternal health care in America.

Now What?

2011-03-25T20:09:00.000-07:00

Bubby had his one year well check on Wednesday. Everything looked great! He was 21lb 13oz, so he's gained quite nicely mostly all on breastmilk. He still only eats the smallest pieces of food (think crumb-sized), but he is doing better with textures so we just need to keep plugging away with solid foods. I'm not really worried about it, but it is sometimes hard to see other little babies eating anything and everything in sight and see little Bubby gagging on a piece of quinoa. But, now he eats avocado, chicken, shredded apple, rice, banana, Rice Krispies -- lots of different textures so we just keep on working with things. For awhile I was wondering if we'd be looking at feeding therapy in our future so it's a good sign that he seems to be doing better.

We talked with our pediatrician about Bubby's food intolerances. She said that because his issues are largely gastrointestinal (if not entirely, he may have had some hives with soy but we are not sure they were related) there really isn't any testing we can do at this point. I want to look into that a bit further because I have friends who have had testing done by their naturopath. At this point, I wonder how accurate they really would be anyway since Bubby has never consumed the food that he reacts to. Our pediatrician encouraged trying the usual suspects again and seeing how he reacts. I'm just not sure. I don't see the harm in waiting longer. I plan on nursing for quite a while still, so there isn't any hurry (or need) for him to have cow's milk. We both seem to feel better not eating wheat. The soy is kind of a pain in the butt to worry about because it's in everything, but since we eat basically whole unprocessed foods now it's not as much of a concern. I just feel like we're in a good place now and why mess up a good thing?

Glenn and I have to chat about it some more. He leans toward trying soy, which is the one allergen we haven't re-introduced since the main elimination diet. I'm leary. When we initially reintroduced soy during the elimination diet we didn't think he had a problem. Weeks passed and then we noticed that he was getting hives and his gastrointestinal problems were back. I re-eliminated soy and both problems went away. I haven't touched soy (in any form) until very recently when I started taking some vitamins that had soy lecithin in them. My counselor thought it was important to start up with my vitamins (along with added Vitamin D and Omega 3s) and I figured the benefits outweighed the negatives right now. He hasn't shown any signs of a problem with it, so that's good. I think if we're reintroducing soy I have plans to go to my favorite Thai restaurant.

I don't know. I'm a bit rambly as this is weighing on my mind.

(Not So) Wordless Wednesday: Discovering Clarabelle

2011-03-23T08:27:00.000-07:00

When we go to get Beanie's haircut she asks about "Clarabelle." I wasn't sure what she was talking about; I thought maybe she had named one of the animal rides (they have lots of coin-operated rides at the little mall we go to) Clarabelle. Last week we headed to the zoo and, as we walked through the gate, she exclaimed, "A big Clarabelle!!!"

Ah, Clarabelle was Beanie-speak for carousel.

Mystery solved.

I'm linked up at Natural Parents Network, Hobo Mama, and Accustomed Chaos so click on over for more Wordless Wednesday posts.

Today.

2011-03-21T21:41:00.000-07:00

In the last 24 hours I've cleaned vomit off of my shoes, Glenn's shoes, and Beanie's shoes. The driveway. The car. Changed the sheets. Changed four vomity outfits. Combed vomit out of hair. Been sneezed on. Been spit up on. Changed poopy pants and poopy diapers. Done extra laundry and then some. Nursed a cranky one-year old off and on for nearly two hours straight while he fought falling asleep, kicked at me, pulled my hair, practiced nursing acrobatics, kept his sister awake and woke his dad up twice (or was it three times).

But, you know what? I also watched my son take his first steps. I held my daughter as she snuggled up next to me and fell asleep on the couch.

And those two things more than made up for all that other junk. Well, those two things and a hot shower.

Motherhood. You win some; you lose some.

Menu Plan Monday: March 21

2011-03-21T16:41:00.000-07:00

I really need to get back in to menu planning. It saves us time, stress, money, etc. So, we're giving it a shot this week after being kind of lackadaisical about it lately.

All menus are wheat-free, dairy-free and soy-free, or easily adapted to be.

Indonesian Chicken

Sunday: Kielbasa, red peppers and potatoes
Monday: Indonesian Chicken (I use balsamic vinegar + a dab of molasses or Coconut Aminos to make it soy free)
Tuesday: Stuffed Peppers
Wednesday: Chicken Enchiladas
Thursday: :Leftover Buffet
Friday: La Bamba Casserole
Saturday: Bean Soup

Gourmet Bean Soup (totally stolen from the side of our bean container)
1lb dry bean blend (ours is a blend of beans, peas and lentils)
1lb turkey Italian sausage, sliced into 1" pieces (I want to try the recipe without this, but Glenn isn't too jazzed about that idea)
1 large onion, diced
1 green bell pepper, diced
1 red bell pepper, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 12oz can diced tomatoes
1 6oz can tomato sauce
1/4tsp hot red pepper flakes
2 bay leaves (I've always left these out)
1/4tsp fresh ground black pepper
2 Tbs olive oil
8c water or chicken stock (I always use chicken stock)

In a stock pot, saute onion and sausage in olive oil until sausage is lightly browned. Add garlic and bell peppers. Saute an additional two minutes. Add remaining ingredients and bring to a boil, then simmer on low for 2-3hours. Remove bay leaves. Glenn and Beanie top theirs with Parmesan cheese and eat with crusty bread. I think I'll get some bread from Wheatless in Seattle.

I'm linked up at I'm an Organizing Junkie so click on over for more menu planning ideas.

Talking About Death

2011-03-20T21:50:00.000-07:00

Beanie usually watches a "night-night show" before bed, usually Kipper or Harold and the Purple Crayon. It gives me a chance to nurse Bubby down for bed and she loves her "night-night show."

One night this last week, I emerged from nursing Bubby down to find that she and Glenn has been discussing death. I wondered when this discussion would come up because one of the Harold episodes involves his pet goldfish dying. Luckily we haven't had to deal with any death here (knock on wood), but, of course, we knew it would come up sometime. Maybe nice to discuss it with a cartoon leading in to it instead of the death of a loved one, I don't know.

After she went to bed Glenn and I talked about it a little more. It's hard to explain death to a three year old. We both said we felt like it'd almost be easier to say, "Oh yes, you die but then you are surrounded by all your family and loved ones and you go to this great place...." But we don't believe that. You die. You live on in people's memories of you and in their hearts, but there isn't any place else for you to go.

I don't know. I don't really have any answers or anything of that nature. We're just trying to keep it age appropriate. I feel like I need to pick up Parenting Beyond Belief and give it another read. I guess I just thought I'd throw it out there and see if anyone had any enlightening ideas for me.

Sunday Surf: First Edition

2011-03-20T21:03:00.000-07:00

I keep thinking I should join in the Sunday Surf with Mamapoekie. Mostly because I link a lot of posts on my Facebook, posts that perhaps would be more interesting to my blog readers than to many of my Facebook friends. I still link them on Facebook. I figure it's my personal page (I keep thinking maybe I need a Facebook page for my blog, but then I remember I'm trying to cut back on my online time, not increase it) and I can do with it what I want. I also figure that you never know who might gather a tidbit of useful information from a post I link. They also might hide me on Facebook, but I suppose that's another problem all together.

So, without further ado, here's my very first Sunday Surf -- the best of what I've read in the last week (plus a few extra goodies from earlier this month):

You are not a perfect parent by Annie at PhD in Parenting. Granted this is not a new post, but she linked it on her Facebook fan page today and it is definitely worth the read. A good reminder that no one is perfect.
What to hate about 'What to Expect When You're Expecting'. When I was pregnant with Beanie I remember hearing about how awful this book was. Luckily my OB gave me a copy of Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn by Penny Simkin and I never touched WTEWYE.
The hottest gluten-free launches of 2011 (so far) by the Scottsdale gluten-free Examiner. I can't wait to try some Rudi's hotdog buns, especially since the ones I tried last night were inedible. And new flavors of Luna & Larry's coconut milk ice-cream. I'd also like to try the new Amande yogurt, since Cascade Fresh was my favorite yogurt in my dairy eating days.
Why preschool shouldn't be like school explains how the research shows that children need "a rich, stable, and safe world, with affectionate and supportive grown-ups, and lots of opportunities for exploration and play. Not school for babies."
A good reminder that rear facing carseats aren't just for babies anymore.
And, just for fun (and because Jenny Lawson's aka The Bloggess' posts on The Stir make me bust a gut every time) -- Lesson 12: Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms: Worst Cage Match Ever
If you've been following our random acts of kindness for the March of Kindness, check out this wrap-up post from Code Name: Mama
I'm also still trying to get through reading all of the Top Ten lists from the March Carnival of Natural Parenting.

So, there you go! A little bit of reading for you to enjoy. If you've read something really great this week post a link in the comments so I can check it out.

March of Kindness: Following Beanie's Lead

2011-03-19T19:01:00.000-07:00

It's the end of another week in our March of Kindness with Code Name: Mama (and amazingly I'm actually getting this post up on Saturday!). Something we've really been trying to focus on, not for the March of Kindness but just all around and for the last few months, is spending one on one time with Beanie, playing with her and following her lead.

My counselor told me the following about how an older sibling might feel about their new brother or sister:

Imagine that your partner puts an arm around you and says, "Honey, I love you so much, and you're so wonderful that I've decided to have another wife (or husband or partner) just like you." When the new wife (or husband or partner) finally arrives, you see that (s)he's very young and kind of cute. When the three of you are out together, people say hello to you politely, but exclaim ecstatically over the newcomer. "Isn't (s)he adorable! Hello sweetheart... You are precious!" Then they turn to you and ask, "How do you like the new wife (or husband or partner)?" (more on siblings here)

I also am almost done reading Playful Parenting (which I really can't recommend enough!) so we are taking those ideas and running with them.

All this to say that this last week we really had some good times with Beanie. I'm sure things are easier because Glenn has been on vacation the last ten days so we've had lots of opportunities for one on one time with the kids. I thought for this weeks wrap-up I'd share a few of the things we did to really make Beanie feel special and important (which, of course, she is, but I think it's been a big change having a needy little brother):

Wednesday afternoons are always busy for us; I have my counseling session and then a chiropractic appointment immediately afterward. Then rush home, eat dinner, etc. Apparently this week while I was gone, Beanie fell asleep while cuddling with Glenn on the couch. As soon as she woke up she said, "Let's go to the park!" I could think of about a dozen other things to do; my counseling sessions have been hard (which Glenn assures me means they're working), I'm nervous about my chiropractic benefits running out, we needed to make dinner, I wanted to relax, etc. But, off we went to the park. And we had a great time!
After Bubby's morning nap on Thursday, Glenn and I were sitting on the couch discussing what we should do with our day. Beanie walked out and said, "We should go to the zoo. We can see lots of animals and maybe some penguins, too." Again, the laundry list of things that we needed to do (like laundry) crossed my mind, but we packed lunch and headed to the zoo.
This morning, Glenn took Beanie out for a Daddy-Daughter date at the pancake store (aka a local restaurant). This was the perfect Daddy-Daughter date since I can't eat at the pancake store anymore. During breakfast, Beanie mentioned that it was sunny out and she'd like to go the "Clifford Park" later in the day. We incorporated that into our plans. And -- bonus -- some friends were close by and met us there. Perfect!

I think that it's easy for us, as parents, to get caught up in the want-to's and need-to's when, in reality, the thing we really need to do is care for our children and help them grow to their fullest potential. The best thing we can do is follow our child's lead and let them know that we really do think what they want to do is important too.

Other random acts of kindness this week included waking up early and making coffee and breakfast for Glenn, making a big pot of pasta sauce and freezing half for a friend who just gave birth, and making sure I was able to take some time for myself.

I'm also going to show some love to fellow March of Kindness bloggers after reading this awesome post from Zoie at Touchstone Z. You should too!

What random acts of kindness have you performed lately?

Wordless Wednesday: Birthday Cake

2011-03-16T10:39:00.000-07:00

I'm linked up at Accustomed Chaos, Hobo Mama and Natural Parents Network (where the theme is healthy eating but, hey, the cupcakes were gluten-free, dairy-free and soy-free!!), so click on over for more Wordless Wednesday posts.

Happy Birthday Bubby!

2011-03-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

One year ago at 3:43 A.M. I met this guy:


Bubby. 1 day old sleeping on Daddy.

Today my baby boy turns one.


Bubby, enjoying some gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free cupcake.

Happy birthday sweet boy!

I've been reflecting a lot on his birth, the last year and etc as his birthday approached. I had all these posts I wanted to write leading up to his birthday, but other things came up. Like enjoying Glenn's vacation. And preparing for his birthday party (which I am happy to say I was able to enjoy fully even though the preparations and the thought of so many people -- man, family adds up fast -- in the house made me more than a bit anxious!). And baking and testing out cupcakes.


Cupcakes!

I really wanted to make cupcakes that Bubby and I could eat and that people who didn't have to be gluten-, dairy- and soy-free would enjoy, too. I think we were successful. Or everyone was lying to me.

My sister always celebrates "birthday week," so maybe I'll get around to those posts sometime this week.

I can't believe I have a one-year old!

If you haven't read Bubby's birth story, click here for a good read.

Another Week of Kindness.

2011-03-13T20:49:00.000-07:00

It's the end of the second week of our March of Kindness with Code Name: Mama. I feel like I can't really remember what we did every single day (I guess I should keep a list on a notepad or something!) -- maybe because we were busy preparing for Bubby's first birthday party (more on that later).

I've been trying to talk to Beanie about our random acts of kindness. She is all about her brother's birthday right now and was so helpful with preparing and getting things ready for the party. She also was very thoughtful and wanted to go and pick out her very own present for Bubby. She has this sweet pea baby, which she has affectionately named Sleeping Baby. Bubby loves playing with Sleeping Baby so Beanie thought it would be a good idea to get him one too. I was impressed she thought of that all on her own so I took her shopping to the local vitamin store where I knew they had sleeping babies and let her pick one out. She picked out a pink and purple one and I did guide her to a different one, not because I care if Bubby has a pink baby, but because I didn't want them to get their babies mixed up. As soon as Bubby saw his sleeping baby, he had a huge smile and has been playing with it ever since.

Probably my favorite random act of kindness this week was arranging for my dad and step-mom to come watch the kids so Glenn and I could go out for a cup of coffee. We don't get much (really any) time to the two of us, so it was really nice to get out and chat over a cup of coffee. I think we get stuck in our roles of mom and dad and too often neglect our roles as husband and wife. We've really been making more of an effort to reconnect and I was glad we got to get out just the two of us.

I also messaged a friend and we met up for coffee today as well (two cups of coffee still weren't enough to keep this mama awake after losing an hour of sleep and suffering from insomnia all night long). It's nice to get out and chat with a friend over coffee, makes me remember that I'm not the only one feeling overwhelmed. I think it was good for both of us to get out sans kiddos for awhile!

So, those were the highlights of our week of kindness. I'll try to be better about remembering what all we do. This last week was definitely a busy one!

What random acts of kindness have you performed lately?

Top Ten Things Every Breastfeeding Mother Needs to Know

2011-03-08T04:00:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Natural Parenting Top 10 Lists
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared Top 10 lists on a wide variety of aspects of attachment parenting and natural living. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
***

Nursing Bubby. Pacific City, OR. 2010

I've been helping a few friends who are expecting in the coming months, trying to arm them with information and empower them to have successful breastfeeding relationships with their new little ones. The majority of new moms, nearly 76%, breastfeed initially, but breastfeeding rates at three and six months are disheartening at best. The reasons moms quit breastfeeding are many, but when a mom really wants to breastfeed but is unsuccessful it can often be attributed to one of the Booby Traps, as outlined by Best for Babes. Unfortunately, misinformation and lack of support can be commonplace for breastfeeding moms.

Knowledge is power. These are good reminders for those who consider themselves breastfeeding "pros" and great tidbits of information for those who are just beginning a breastfeeding relationship. Here is my list of the Top 10 Things Every Breastfeeding Mother Needs to Know (in no particular order).

10. Breastfeeding works based on supply and demand. Remember Economics 101? Your milk supply works the same way. In the beginning, you will likely feel like you don't have enough milk. Keep putting baby to your breast; nothing stimulates milk production like skin-to-skin contact and nursing. Just when you feel like things are getting regulated, your baby may hit a growth spurt. It will feel like all you do is nurse. It will feel like your baby is always hungry. Keep nursing. Your baby is nursing so often to stimulate your milk supply. It works the other way too, sometimes you may feel like you have too much milk. Just keep nursing, follow your baby's cues and your supply will regulate. I really think the supply and demand relationship is somewhat magical, it's amazing how it works when the breastfeeding dyad is allowed to do their "work" unimpeded.

9. At birth, your baby's stomach is the size of a marble. It will seem like you don't have any milk and, at first, you don't! Colostrum is specially designed for your newborn; it's the perfect first food and it's all they need. It can take up to a week for your milk to come in, especially if baby was early or born via c-section. Keep nursing; it's the fool-proof way to stimulate production.

8. Get support. My biggest supporter, by far, has been my husband. He's been my cheerleader in hard times. Tell your friends you plan on breastfeeding and enlist the help of friends who have had successful nursing relationships in the past. Make sure extended family knows you are breastfeeding. It can be hard for new moms whose mothers and grandmothers didn't breastfeed; they don't have the familial support or knowledge they might seek. Find a La Leche League (LLL) meeting close by and attend.

7. There is a learning curve to breastfeeding, even for moms nursing their second (or third or fourth...) babies. As a first time mom, don't expect to get it right immediately. It takes time. You have to learn and so does your baby. I considered myself a seasoned breastfeeder when my son was born, but it took some time to get used to nursing a newborn again -- way different than nursing a toddler! Give it time.

6. The breast pump is never an accurate indicator of how much milk you are producing. Ideally, as the mom of a newborn, you should ditch the pump. Unless your situation dictates that you must pump, put it away until your supply regulates. The pump is never as efficient as your baby, so looking at the ounce or two that you pumped can be defeating if you think that is all your baby is getting when they are nursing.

5. Nurse on demand. Watch for your baby's hunger cues and feed him them. Babies indicate hunger by smacking their lips, sucking on their hands, rooting around, squirming, the list goes on and on. Watch your baby, not the clock. It may seem like he just nursed, and maybe he did. Nurse him anyway. Nurse your baby on demand whether it's 3:00 A.M. or 3:00 P.M. Babies need to eat often; their stomachs are small, breastmilk is easily digested, they don't understand day and night, and their sleep cycles are shorter than adults'. Nighttime nursing is necessary for babies and for your milk supply. Nurse on demand (I can't say that one enough!).

4. Ditch the free formula samples. Since the WHO Code for the marketing of breastmilk substitutes is routinely violated by formula companies and isn't enforced in the United States, many expecting mothers are given formula samples. Don't accept them. Donate them to the food bank. Whatever you do, do not have it sitting on your kitchen counter as you initiate your breastfeeding relationship! I promise you, there will be times you doubt that your supply is adequate. Your baby will act like she wants to nurse, but you will have difficulty getting her to stay latched (awake, focused, etc). That little can of formula on your counter is going to help that doubt grow in your mind. It's going to call to you. That is exactly why you can't have it sitting there! I assure you that if there really is a need to feed your baby formula, then someone can head to your nearest grocer and get you some. I've always said that breastfeeding (especially the first time around) is a mind game. You have to trust your body.

3. Trust your body. The nice thing about breastfeeding is that you were made to do this! It's hard sometimes. You can't see how much milk your baby is drinking. Bottle-feeding mothers can say "My daughter eats x ounces of milk x times a day." You can't and that's okay. Nurse on demand. In the vast majority of cases mom makes enough milk and baby gets enough milk. You have to trust that it's happening.

2. If your doctor, nurse, lactation consultant or pediatrician says you don't have enough milk, your baby isn't getting enough milk, etc, then make sure to get a second opinion. The sad but true fact is that many nurses, doctors and pediatricians aren't all that knowledgeable about breastfeeding. See an Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant. A good measure of your milk supply and your baby's milk intake is whether or not they have adequate wet and dirty diapers -- watch the diapers. Make sure your pediatrician is using the WHO growth standards (based on breastfed babies) and not the old CDC charts (based on formula-fed babies). Breastfed babies gain weight differently than their formula-fed counterparts. There's a bell shaped growth curve for a reason -- by definition, some babies will be at the high end of the growth curve and some will be at the low end of the growth curve. That's how a bell-shaped distribution works.

1. "Never quit on your worst day." A friend gave this advice on an online forum when I was first nursing Beanie and I thought it was great. There will be bad days, frustrating days, tiring days. Vow to stick with it for one more day. Then one more week. See how things are going then and reevaluate. It's funny how an easier day (or even just a new one) can give a whole new perspective on things.

Did I miss anything? What is one piece of advice you always give to new breastfeeding mothers?

***

Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon March 8 with all the carnival links.)

Attachment Parenting in the NICU — Erica at ChildOrganics shares some strategies to help you parent naturally in some unnatural circumstances.
10 Reasons to Choose Baby Led Weaning — Luschka from Diary of a First Child shares ten reasons to choose Baby Led Weaning when it comes to solids.
Choosing to Breastfeed — From selfishness to self-giving, CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy lists reasons why breast is best for her and her family.
Ten Things I Wish I Knew About Before Little Man — In this reflective post, The ArstyMama discusses ten things she wishes she knew more about before the birth of her son, Little Man.
10 Things That Helped Me Become a Natural Mama — The Accidental Natural Mama counts down ten things that helped her find her moderately crunchy inner mama self.
Top 10 Reasons to Breastfeed Your Toddler — Extended breast-feeder Kate Wicker of Momopoly makes her own top 10 list for why she loves nursing her 2-year-old.
Top 10 Tips on Authentic Grandparenting — Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting offers a list of tips to make the grandparent-parent-child relationship flow smoothly.
Top Ten "Dad" Things — Liam at In The Now talks about his favourite ways to spend time with his children.
Top 10 Natural Strategies for Conception (aka How to Get Pregnant!) — Despite facing plenty of health issues, Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama found her way to two first-try pregnancies thanks to these natural strategies.
Top Ten Reasons Why Home Birth Rocks — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud shares her passion for birthing at home - the natural place for natural birth.
Top 10 reasons why cloth nappies are fun — Tat at Cloth Nappies Are Fun shows how using cloth nappies can brighten up your day.
Top Ten Ways to Be Present With Family — Amy at Innate Wholeness shares how to make the most of parenting and family life through being present.
Top 10 Things In My Arsenal of Kitchen Witchy Mama Tricks. — Joni Rae at Tales of A Kitchen Witch shares with us the simple things she would never want to be missing from her cupboards.
Top 10 ways I'm not very good at natural parenting (and why I keep trying anyway) — Jenny at Babyfingers shares the ways she is imperfect as a natural parent, and why she embraces natural parenting anyway.
Top 10 Ways to Know You Are a Natural Parent — So what makes us "natural parents," anyway? A lighthearted look at the Top 10 Ways to Know You Are a Natural Parent by the editors and readers of Natural Parents Network.
The Top 10 Things Every Natural Household (with children) Should Have — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro shares a list of the most common natural products and remedies she uses for health and cleaning.
Top 10 books for raising loving, spiritual children — In her 'food for the soul' post, Mrs Green from Little Green Blog shares her favourite spiritual books. No matter what religion you practise, there's something for everyone!
Top 10 Things No One Told Me About Natural Parenting — Adrienne at Mommying My Way explains that the best things about natural parenting are things she never expected.
Top 10 Flower Essences for Families — Kim of Nature Baby Bloggings lists her pick of the top ten flower essence which can help ease families through the ups and downs of life.
My Top Ten Parenting Tools — Amyables at Toddler In Tow names the top ten tools that have been helpful to her while learning to parent respectfully and successfully.
Ten Ways Families Can Enjoy Nature (for free!) — Spring is nearly in the air, and Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction is dreaming of the fun and frugal ways that her family is going to get out and enjoy nature this summer.
10 Reasons We Unschool — Patti at Jazzy Mama explains why unschooling is the right choice for her family.
Must Read: Natural Parenting Top Ten — Amy at Anktangle wants you to do a little reading! She shares her top ten favorite books to help parents prepare for pregnancy, birth, and parenting.
Top 10 Breastfeeding Misconceptions — Sheila at A Gift Universe examines ten reasons women give for why they didn't breastfeed as long as they wanted, and shows how these obstacles can be overcome.
Ten Reasons to Plan a Home Birth — Since a home birth can be an incredibly empowering experience, Leslie at Lights and Letters outlines ten reasons why you should plan to have your baby at home.
Top Ten Books for Birth, Breastfeeding and Parenting — Megan at Just Me(gan) writes about the ten books that have helped her the most in her natural parenting journey.
A Top Ten Letter To Me... — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes herself a letter of reflections and bits of wisdom she would have liked to know as a new mama.
Top Ten Mama Necessities Money Can't Buy — Buying baby gear is fun, but Emily at Crunchy(ish) Mama knows real parenting must-haves can't be bought in stores (or even on Amazon).
Top 10 Books for a Natural Mum — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine talks about her Top 10 Books for a Natural Mum.
Ten Great Spring Activities To Do With Preschoolers — Kellie at Our Mindful Life and her family have come up with a great list of activities to do together this spring.
10 Ways to Reuse Yogurt Containers — Acacia at Fingerpaint & Superheroes keeps the stacks of yogurt containers out of her recycling bin by reusing them in both practical and creative ways.
Top Ten Ways To Have a Harmonious Home — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her natural parenting-inspired methods for maintaining a harmonious daily life with her toddler.
10 Natural Baby Items I Love — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares product ideas to support your natural parenting.
The Pandas' Top Five Crunch-osophies — Top five crunchy philosophies, as employed at the Panda Residence by Ana at Pandamoly.
Top 10 Reasons to Leave Your Son Intact — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children has shared 10 reasons why you should leave your newborn son intact.
Ten things everyone should know about unassisted homebirth — Olivia at Write About Birth shares practical tips for women considering an unassisted homebirth and debunks some common myths
10 Most Popular Ways To Treat Cloth Diaper Stains — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey gives ten easy tips to make your diapers like new.
10 Lessons in 1 Year — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares 10 parenting lessons that she has learned throughout her first year of motherhood.
Top 10 Ways to Get Breastfeeding Off To a Good Start — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes shares 10 effective ways to ensure breastfeeding gets off to a good start.
Top 10 Ways to Avoid a Time-Out — If you are uncomfortable using time-outs in an attempt to control your child's behavior, try one of these gentler alternatives. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares her Top 10 Ways to Avoid a Time-Out.
My Top 10 Parenting Scriptures — Dulce de leche is learning to integrate faith and parenting. Whether it is breastfeeding, babywearing, comforting her children, or gentle discipline, she finds that the Bible has beautiful passages to encourage her on her journey.
Natural Cleaning Ideas - Top 10 — Laura at Laura's Blog lists the ways she keeps her house clean and clear of chemicals.
My Top Ten (plus two) Life Altering and Growth Inspiring Books — A top ten list of books from MJ at Wander Wonder Discover that changed her life as an individual, a parent, and an earth dweller.
Top 10 Ways to Use Natural Parenting for Children with Special Needs — Danielle at Mommy Makes Cents feeds the needs of her family and special needs child through the use of Natural Parenting.
Ten Fundamentals — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante gets philosophical with a list of the fundamentals that drive her natural parenting.
10 reasons why I chose breast over bottles — Becky at Old New Legacy writes a quick list of why she chose breast over bottles.
Top Ten Natural Tools for the Work of Play — Lori at Beneath the Rowan Tree offers insight into 10 natural toys that will span the early years (and save you money).
10 differences between pregnancy and parenting in Japan and the US — Megan at Ichigo Means Strawberry gives her impressions about differences in pregnancy and parenting in Japan and the US.
Natural Parenting Benny & Bex Style — Pecky at Benny and Bex explains why Natural Parenting principles work best for her boys.
Top 10 Reasons to Co-Sleep — 10 practical, emotional, and completely selfish reasons to co-sleep and share a family bed from Lily, aka Witch Mom.
My Top Ten New Mommy Moments — Melissa at The New Mommy Files recounts the ten most memorable moments of her daughter's first year.
Top Ten Things Every Breastfeeding Mother Needs to Know — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood believes knowledge is power and wants all moms to be well informed.
Top 10 Nursing Positions / Situations — Momma Jorje uses her 5½ years of nursing experience to share her Top 10 Nursing Positions/Situations. She includes some adorable photos of her youngest daughter at the breast.
Ten Top Ways to Connect Kids with Nature — Terri from Child at the Nature Isle offers 10 ways to immerse ourselves in the natural world and develop a love affair with the Earth.
Top 10 Slacker Ways to Natural Parent — Guavalicious is happy to show you how to parent naturally the slacker way.
Simply what it looks like — Andrea!!! from Ella-Bean & Co. offers a glimpse into natural parenting through the eyes of mama and babe.
Top Ten Reasons Why Natural Parenting Dads Are So Attractive — Nada at miniMOMist sure digs her husband, but it's not just his good looks -- it's his parenting!
10 Family Systems and Routines That Work for Us — See what routines, organizational systems, and parenting approaches work for Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings to help avoid conflict and maintain sanity in a family with three young children.
Top 10 reasons to choose midwifery care — Lauren at Hobo Mama lists the features that drew her to midwives' care for pregnancy and birth.
10 Ways to Cloth Diaper on a Budget — Michelle at The Parent Vortex shares her best thrifty cloth diapering tips.
Ten Reasons it Felt Sew Good To Make My Own Play Food — Brittany at Mama's Felt Cafe lists her 10 (OK, 11) favorite reasons to grab a needle and start sewing your own felt play toys.
Top10 Ways to Spark Interest, Learn, and Have Fun With Everyday Tasks! — Bethy at Bounce Me to the Moon gives you her top 10 ways of incorporating fun and lessons into everyday tasks and chores.
Postpartum Gift Ideas — Alicia at I Found My Feet suggests a top 10 list of gifts for mother's after giving birth.
My Top Ten Shows Worthy Of Screen Time — Tree at Mom Grooves shares her top ten list of shows that she believes are positive, educational, kind, joyful, and a nice way to share some downtime with your children.
The Top 10 Ways to Succeed as an Working Attachment Parent — That Mama Gretchen shares tried and true ways to succeed with attachment parenting even when working away from home during the day.
Top Ten Books for Natural Parenting — Pregnancy, herbs, cooking, and healthcare the ten books Asha at Meta Mom the most.
Preparing for a Hospital VBAC: My Top 10 — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis shares 10 ways she's preparing for her upcoming hospital VBAC.
Top Ten New Mom Survival Tools — Wolfmother shares her most beloved motherhood survival tools at Fabulous Mama Chronicles.
Top 10 Montessori Principles for Natural Learning — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now gives her top 10 list of Montessori principles parents can use to encourage their children s natural learning.
Going Granola — Tashmica from The Mother Flippin' Blog describes the 10 ways that natural parenting sneaked up on her. She never expected to go all granola on the world.
Step Away From the Amazon List — Stefanie at Very, Very Fine wishes she hadn't bought so much useless stuff.

March of Kindness: Week One Round-Up

2011-03-06T20:22:00.000-08:00

***I meant to post this yesterday, but oops! I thought it would be nice to do weekly round-ups on Saturdays, but this one will have to be a day late!***

As I posted earlier, I decided to join in the March of Kindness hosted by Dionna at Code Name: Mama. This is a round-up of week one. It's been a somewhat slow start to our month of kindness, but I'm trying to keep in mind that the acts we commit don't have to be great or earth-shattering (trust me, they won't be!), but rather small acts that show others that we care.

This week I was kind to my husband. I told Glenn to go into the bedroom and eat his lunch and relax when he got home from work. Doesn't sound too big, right? But, the fact of the matter was that it was an extremely hectic morning here and I really wanted to close myself in the bedroom for some peace and quiet when he got home. He's had a really rough week at work though, and I knew he needed it more than I did. This week I was kind to myself. As the kids napped and Glenn watched some television, I snuck out for a solo trip to the library. It was nice and I'm really excited to start reading the copy of Naomi Aldort's Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves that I picked up. This week I was kind to my father. To say we have a strained relationship would be putting it mildly and things have been especially difficult as I work through some things with my counselor, but I called and had a good ol' chat with him on his birthday. This week I was kind to my sister. She broke her foot and can't drive, so Glenn picked her up after work on Saturday and brought her to our house to visit. We went shopping, had a girls date with Beanie, and cooked her dinner.

So far, so good for our March of Kindness. What random acts of kindness have you performed lately?

The Preschool Predicament

2011-03-04T19:29:00.000-08:00

It's March and, as a parent of a preschooler, that means we should already be enrolled and have our plans set for the 2011-2012 school year. Except for one thing...

...We aren't doing preschool.

Gasp.

I'll be honest and say that I really gave it some good thought, not because I thought Beanie needed to learn and socialize away from home but because, with my PPD, I wondered if I was going to be able to give her what she needed. It seems there is so much pressure put on children (and parents) and at younger and younger ages. I met a mom whose son had just turned one and friends were asking if she'd thought about where he'd go to preschool. A friend told me that when they moved here others told her they needed to start preschool at 2 1/2 because kindergarten was so competitive. Kindergarten? Competitive? Surely five year olds aren't all about competition at school. Is it the parents? The public school system? I don't know.

We've decided to home preschool Beanie for sure. We lean toward an unschooling approach to preschool learning and I just don't really see what she needs to know that Glenn or I can't teach her. We can socialize through our playgroups and through classes at through parks and recreation and the like. There's other factors like the fact that many preschools are church based (something weren't not interested in) and the fact that any preschool except for a co-op is probably cost-prohibitive for us right now (and, really, if we're doing a co-op why not just be at home?).

I'm excited that our AP moms group is working to put together a co-op of its own. I don't know how it will all pan out, but I have high hopes because there are quite a few of us who are interested and a lot of good ideas floating around. I think that it really could provide a bit of needed structure to our learning. I also think it will be nice for Beanie to learn from other moms and for her to be interacting with the same group of kids on a consistent basis. I'm really excited and it makes me feel even better about our decision not to send her to preschool.

While we're in limbo with the moms group co-op I'd like to add some structure to what we're learning about. Do structure and unschooling go together at all? Whatever. It's not about the labels. Basically, I'd like to set aside some time a few days a week to sit down for "learning time." We can play it by ear and see where we go with it. Right now my idea is to rotate through days about letters, numbers/math, science and arts & crafts. Not all of these have to be sit down activities of course. We learn about numbers when we're at the grocery store or when we're baking. We talk about science when we discuss weather and bugs. She's really been into drawing and painting lately, something she didn't hold much interest in before. I feel like we've deforested a rain forest with all the paper she's gone though, but what's a mom of a three year old to do?

I'm excited about where this next year of learning will take us. So far, our plan is to go to public school for K-12, but we'll see where we end up with that, too.

Do you homeschool/unschool/etc? What are your favorite resources?

(Not So) Wordless Wednesday: The Real Housewives

2011-03-02T09:22:00.000-08:00

As I talked about before, during the PPD Chat on Twitter we were talking about realizing that no one is perfect. Many times, moms have this image of what the "perfect mother" is. In my mind, one of the things the "perfect mother" has is a spotlessly clean house. Of course, no one really does (or they have a really good housekeeper!). A few people (including myself) talked about feeling bad or guilty when seeing pictures on blogs, seeing people saying "this was a bad day" and having a good looking kitchen, living room, etc in the picture. I know I had to step away from some blogs for awhile, especially those that were making me feel guilty about reaching the unattainable Super Mom image in my head. I know people often put their best faces forward, so to speak, on their blogs, but today I'm keeping it real! It was suggested in the chat that we post pictures of our perfectly imperfect houses and our happy, smiling children.

My perfectly imperfect kitchen


My perfectly happy boy, who could care less about the kitchen counter.

Check out My Postpartum Voice to see more messy houses and happy kids. I'm also linked up at Hobo Mama and Natural Parents Network, so click on over for more Wordless Wednesday posts.

Redefining "A Good Day"

2011-03-01T09:15:00.000-08:00

Pacific City, OR 2009

I've been thinking about what it means to have "a good day" since the PPD Chat on Twitter yesterday (which, as an aside, I finally figured out how people chat on Twitter!).

So often our expectations of a day impact whether we see it as good or bad. Usually those expectations are set based on what we want to (or think we need to) accomplish and how we want others to perceive us. For example, I used to have this checklist of things that "had to" be done, usually before hubby got home from work. The laundry list included everyone eating breakfast, tidying up the house, getting out for a playdate or errand, getting Bubby down for his nap, and learning time for Alexa. Difficult, if not impossible, to accomplish when Hubby gets home before noon most days. It was that expectation of perfection, the thought that there were all these things I "had to" do, all these things that other mothers seemed to be able to do without trouble.

But now I've started to redefine how I think about good days. A good day is when we all get up (hopefully not too early) and eat breakfast. Maybe I get a couple chores done. Maybe not. The kids and I play in the playroom. I leave my phone in the other room. I don't think about what I "have to" get done, the blog I want to compose, or the bills that need to be paid. I enjoy my time with them. Maybe we get an errand done. Usually not. The kids are usually dressed by the time hubby gets home. I'm usually still in my sweats unless we've gone out with friends.

And, you know what? That's a good day. Good days (and good mothers) aren't defined by clean kitchen counters and problem-less days. It's about really taking the time to be present and enjoy the day, hiccups and all.

What's your definition of a good day?

Back to the Basics Batman.

2011-03-01T00:01:00.000-08:00

Or not Batman.

Whatever.

Over the last couple months (maybe since NaBloPoMo?) I've struggled with writing because I enjoy it and writing because I want to be heard. I've also struggled because, well, life has been a struggle and many things on my mind seem more appropriate for my counselor than my blog.

But, it's a new month. It's March! In February lingering illnesses prevented us from going out and doing much even thought I was feeling a lot better emotionally. I'm hoping March is our month, that we can really enjoy it. I'm looking forward to a great month with my family (and Bubby turns one this month! Eek!), my friends and my blog.

Forget statistics, followers, and all that other savvy blogging nonsense. When you love to write it shows, and that is what attracts readers to your blog. I guess it helps to have something meaningful to say, but I'd like to interject more oh-my-gosh-guess-what-happened-to-us-today stuff, too.

What do I have in store? Honestly, I really don't know. Just some good down-to-earth blogging about the things I'm passionate about...

We'll see how it pans out.

Joining in the March of Kindness

2011-02-28T04:30:00.000-08:00

The other day on Facebook I saw that Dionna at Code Name: Mama was posting about random acts of kindness. She's turned it into an event for the month of March and I am excited to participate. Ever since we passed out the compassion kits over the holidays I've been wanting to incorporate more acts of kindness and giving with Beanie. This will be a great activity for both of us.

The idea is to commit one random act of kindness every day throughout the month of March. It doesn't have to be anything big, just a small act to show kindness and generosity. I'm hoping that Beanie and I can talk about it and that she will come up with some ideas on her own. I'm not going to write a post about every single day, but I will update as the month progresses and recap at the end of March.

Want to join in? Make sure and click through the button and participate in the March of Kindness.

Friendship & Finding Support in Trying Times

2011-02-27T10:58:00.000-08:00

Image credit: paris_corrupted on Flickr

If a year ago you would have told me that I'd have the most difficult year of my life, I would've had a few people in mind who I would've said would really be there for me. The list would've been short, for sure, but I'm sad that most of them haven't been there for me.

I'll be the first to admit I've been a crappy friend (wife, sister, daughter, fill in the blank here) this last year. I don't return calls. I cancel plans. I ignore (or just plain forget about) emails. But, the people who keep reaching out to me? You mean more to me than you could know right now.

I don't know why I've had this on my mind so much lately. Over the last year we've made new friends who have offered support and help many times (although, admittedly, I've been pretty shabby about accepting!). I feel like I have people I could count on if (or is it when?) I need help. They all mean so much to me as well.

But it's eating at me, the fact that those few people I thought I could really count on weren't there for me. I'm not talking about coddling me or holding me up. I'm just talking about checking in every so often and saying. "How's it going?" or "Haven't heard from you in a bit." Even a comment on my stupid little Facebook status or my blog. Whatever.

Sure, I'm needy. I take things too personally. That's just me right now.

One thing is for sure. Glenn has been my rock this last year. I honestly don't know if I could've made it through all this junk without him. He's supported me, been there for me, worked way too much and then come home and picked up all the pieces. He pushed me to finally go see a counselor and sacrificed his time so I could get on the road to wellness. He's held me as I cried for no reason at all and he's held me as we laugh about happier times.

This last year has been about self-preservation, about just getting through. I apologize if I wasn't the friend (or fill in the blank) I was "supposed" to be. I just couldn't be

I guess, in short, I'm thankful for the support network I do have. But I mourn for the support network I thought I had.

Another Unsuccessful Reintroduction

2011-02-22T19:55:00.000-08:00

Image credit: Guillaume Paumier on Flickr

Two weeks ago, I reintroduced dairy into my diet. I was hopeful as our pediatrician said that most infants outgrow their dairy intolerance by age one. I was a bit more excited to reintroduce dairy than I had been with the wheat. I'd been compiling a mental list of the foods I'd really like to have again: pizza, cheesecake, a grilled cheese sandwich, ice cream. I wanted the most bang for the buck, so to speak, if I was only able to eat dairy for a few days.

I was nervous because last time Bubby had blood in his diapers within two days of reintroduction. This time we made it to day six.

I'm bummed that he had to go through that again. I'm hopeful that he will still outgrow it, as the reaction took longer to come about.

So, we're still wheat-, dairy- and soy-free. At this point I think we'll hold off on any more reintroductions for awhile. I feel healthier eating this way and, obviously, so does he. There isn't really any rush and we'll just see how things go from here.

A Girls Date.

2011-02-20T15:14:00.000-08:00

Beanie, sipping on her "latte."

Yesterday, we were trying to figure out what to do with our afternoon. It was a gorgeous day out, but it was a bit too windy for Bubby's tastes and Beanie decided she was too cold while Glenn was pruning the fruit trees. I tossed out the idea of making lattes, or even going out and getting one.

"Oh, like a girl's date Mama!" Beanie exclaimed.

How could I refuse?

I started a pot of coffee for Glenn and he and Bubby had a "boy's date" at home while Beanie and I headed out for lattes.

We chatted in the car. When we got to the counter Beanie said she'd like a "latte please." As we sipped our drinks (hers being a steamed milk, not a latte), she said that she really liked rice vanilla lattes. She told me how it was her favorite coffee shop. She wondered what Bubby and Daddy were doing at home. We had an excellent time. It was just what we both needed.

She insisted on taking my picture too.

A Good Day.

2011-02-08T13:27:00.000-08:00

"True happiness is...to enjoy the present without anxious dependence on the future."

--Lucius Annaeus Seneca

It's a good day. I can't exactly put my finger on why, but I feel different. It's not just that I'm finally over this ugly flu bug that hit our house. I feel optimistic. It's the first time in a long time.

Maybe I had to hit rock bottom first? I have really been struggling, but somehow this morning I woke up and it was different.

Even though Beanie woke up at 5:45 and snuggled in next to me in bed (luckily Bubby was able to stay asleep until 7:00). Even though Bubby was cranky at the mere thought of being put down for five seconds so I could use the restroom. Even though Bubby gagged and almost threw up on his pancakes. Even though Beanie whacked Bubby in the head with her microphone.

On any other day those things would have made my anxiety creep up and take over. Not today.

Why? I have no idea.

I exercised on Sunday and it felt great. Not only did it feel pretty good physically, but my mood lifted and I had some "me time." I've been taking my vitamins again. My neck and back are feeling better. I'm working through things with my counselor.

Maybe it's just my time?

I'm not sure, but I hope so. This optimism thing is a welcome change.

Sibling Serenade

2011-02-04T20:58:00.000-08:00

At lunch today Beanie grabbed the triangle from her Melissa and Doug music kit and sang us all a song. It went like this:

Once upon a time there was a little boy named [Bubby],
I love him so much,
I love to play with him,
I love to give him hugs and kisses,
We like to play, except for when I'm in my room,
he can come to play if he wants to. Or not.
And when he's upset my mommy feeds him.
Well, that is all.

She proceeded to sing songs about Glenn and I as well. What a sweetie.

The View From Here.

2011-01-29T20:22:00.000-08:00

Breathe.

I've been taking a bit of a breather from the online world. I cut back on my online message boards awhile back and now have tried to unplug from Facebook, Twitter, and (turns out) blogging.

A few things led to this. I've been wanting to unplug for a while and doing so was one of my goals for the new year. I read Melodie's post for the January Carnival of Natural Parenting titled My Kids Have Taught Me It's Time to Stop Blogging, I saw a Blogging without Obligation button on a friend's blog and I've really been doing a lot of thinking about what I want (and need) from life right now. Back in November, a few friends and I had a conversation about the difference between wanting to blog and feeling like you needed to blog. I want to make sure I'm in the place where I want to blog, not that I feel like I have to.

My New Year's Resolution was to add myself to the list of people I take care of. I've been working at that, but, I won't lie, it's quite a struggle right now and I have a long way to go. I'm in a difficult spot and, while I've found touching PPD blogs* (and I love that people are blogging and letting moms know it's okay to get help), I'm just not in the place where I feel like blogging about each and every one of my struggles. And, lately, the struggles seem like a lot.

I've also been working to improve my relationships with family, mostly Glenn and Beanie as Bubby has the lion's share of mama's attention right now. Glenn's work schedule has shifted a bit lately and often he is awake after the kids go to bed. It makes things easier with bedtime and it's nice to have some time to talk, reconnect, dork around, watch reruns of The Office and on and on. Beanie is having a difficult time with some things. I'm sure part of it is being 3 1/2, having a little brother, and etc. It really helps us to unplug and reconnect as mother and daughter.

I've been reading a lot. Mostly parenting books. I finished Positive Discipline and am reading Playful Parenting and Unconditional Parenting. I have Parenting Beyond Belief sitting on the end table, too. On the nights Glenn does have to go to bed early, I've been reading instead of staring at the computer. I find it easier to fall asleep that way, too.

It's been harder getting out and about. My neck and back were acting up again, but I am happy to say I found a chiropractor I really like. He practices Jeet Kune Do so we talk about martial arts, he does deep tissue massage along with the adjustments, his office is right across from my counselor's and I am happy to say I'm feeling better. Step one in taking care of myself. I've been six times and am already feeling a lot better. Bubby has been all over the place with his morning naps. Once I think I've got his "schedule" (I use that term loosely because we really don't schedule at all, just let him get into his own rhythm) figure out he switches it up again. I know we have better days when we get out of the house, but lately it has been such a struggle that it seems easier to stay in. That is, until we're all bouncing off the walls about 1 pm.

So, I'm here and I will be blogging. Just when I want to. I've also vowed to stay away from looking at my statistics for awhile and just get back to enjoying writing.

*There's an amazing community for PPD/PPA support on Twitter. They have weekly chats. Search for the hashtag #ppdchat.

Menu Plan Monday 01/17

2011-01-17T07:28:00.000-08:00

We're back on the gluten-free adventure. Once Bubby is feeling better we will try to reintroduce dairy, then soy, and then we'll come back and reevaluate the wheat thing. I don't know if that was what was bothering him, but we can come to no other logical conclusion. And, apparently, my memory was faulty; when we reintroduced wheat on the elimination diet in July, he wasn't so bad off in just a day or two, it did take longer (like a week) and was less obvious -- cranky, yucky diapers, allergy ring on his bum. The same old suspects as right now. The immediate bad reaction was with the dairy.

I'm feeling good about the decision to re-eliminate. While surely there could be other compounding variables in the mix, it just wasn't helping my anxiety worrying about Bubby and wondering what was going on. I hate seeing him in pain. Best to eliminate the variables we can and come back to it later.

I've also started seeing a new chiropractor (more on that later), so we are planning a few crockpot recipes for this week as I have appointments in the late afternoons, right about when we usually start settling in to make dinner.

As always, we plan Saturday - Friday because that's how we roll! All meals are gluten-free, dairy-free and soy-free, or easily adapted to be.

Italian Sausage Soup

Saturday: Sloppy Joes with green salad and homemade french fries
Sunday: Italian Sausage Soup
Monday: Chicken and Dumplings Soup
Tuesday: Spaghetti with green salad
Wednesday: Leftover Buffet
Thursday: Arroz con Pollo
Friday: Cranberry Roast with mashed potatoes and green salad

Image credit: twohelmetscooking on Flickr

The ingredient of the week at the Gluten Free Menu Plan Monday is winter vegetables. We've been making a lot of side dishes with russet potatoes. We started buying a big ten pound bag at the store (so much cheaper than buying the bigger by-the-pound ones) and have been making homemade fries, hash browns, mashed potatoes and etc. I'd like to make some sweet potato fries soon; I wonder if Bubby would go for them. I have some butternut squash in the freezer (cubes and puree) and I'd like to try out my pumpkin bread recipe with squash (especially now that I'm better at adapting gluten recipes). I've also been wanting to make this squash soup so perhaps I'll finally take a stab at it this week.

I'm linked up at I'm an Organizing Junkie and Celiacs in the House, so click on over for more menu ideas.

Wheat Free Once Again

2011-01-15T13:53:00.000-08:00

Image credit: Photography_Gal on Flickr

I wrote previously about the fact that we reintroduced wheat into my diet. At the time, things seemed to be going swimmingly for Bubby and not so hot for me. It's been almost two weeks now since I've reintroduced wheat. While I have started to feel better, Bubby has seemed to go downhill. I still don't really know with any certainty if it is the wheat bothering him right now. There hadn't been anything that really stood out until last night. Earlier this week, I thought I may have seen tiny blood specks in his diaper. As I said earlier, it's hard being the poop police and I wasn't really sure. As of last night I am sure. Bubby has been crankier (so much that Glenn jokingly called him Baby Godzilla today) and I feel like his diapers have been going downhill. The ironic part is that I was just starting to feel better with our wheat introduction, although I still have some undesirable gastrointestinal issues.

Before last night, my thinking was to introduce wheat directly into his diet (although who knows how that would go as he doesn't really consume anything beyond breastmilk). I thought it was our best bet to figure out if that was really what was bothering him. Now, I feel like our only logical option is to re-eliminate. As I said earlier, for me eating gluten-free really isn't that hard. And, if dairy and soy were back in our diet eating gluten-free would be very easy. So, back to the drawing board! We'll re-eliminate the wheat, wait a few weeks and try the dairy.

At least, that is our thinking for now. I feel like it really is for the best.

Wordless Wednesday: Photography by Beanie

2011-01-12T07:50:00.000-08:00

I'm linked up over at Hobo Mama, and Dagmar's Momsense so click on over to see more Wordless Wednesday posts.

Life Lessons From My Children

2011-01-11T04:00:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Learning from children

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared the many lessons their children have taught them. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

I've grown so much as a person in the last three-and-a-half years. I'm not the person I once was and my growth has definitely been for the better. Along the way I've learned quite a bit. I've learned that it's not all about the lessons we impart on our children (not even close!). It's more about the lessons they choose to teach us.

Here are ten life lessons I learned from my children:

1. There really is such a thing as love at first sight. The second I saw her sweet, vernix-covered face I knew there was no going back. I was so in love with Beanie. It was instantaneous. Not that there wasn't a lot of love for her before she decided to make her entrance into this world, but when I saw her it all changed. I knew there was nothing I wouldn't do for her. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I still can't. You hear people talking about the love they have for their children. Let me just tell you that you have no idea. As Glenn and I discussed becoming a family of four, I wondered how I would ever be able to love a second child as much as I loved my first. As any parent of two or more knows, that question is moot; the love for your children, whether you have one or seven, is exponential and grows daily.

2. Learning happens all the time. Every moment is an opportunity to learn. Take the time to think about things, ask why, and let your curiosity lead you. I've often said I could be a professional student (if only someone would pay for my tuition!); there's no better "student" than a three year old. They are full of wonder and curiosity. I try to remember that as I'm being asked "why?" for the ten-thousandth time. We learn as we go.

3. It's not about the destination; it's about the journey. Before I had children, I'd hike to the waterfall or the top of a mountain. Now? Not so much. Go for a walk or a hike with a toddler and you'll quickly learn exactly what I mean. That bug on the leaf you never would have noticed? Fascinating. The beauty of a field of flowers? Take it in. For an hour. That slug who you thought looked the same as all the others? Different. You may not even make it to your destination, but taking the time to enjoy the journey, the process, makes the destination less important.

4. Plans are made to be broken. That grand scheme I've had to clean one room a day? The plan to make it to the grocery store before naptime? The checklist of things to get done? They don't really seem that important when the other option is snuggling with your daughter while your son takes his morning nap.

5. Cooking and baking are fun... There are a few reasons this lesson has been important to me. Partly because, being gluten-free, dairy-free and soy-free, I have to cook for myself now. And, more importantly, the joy on Beanie's face when we get to bake together is priceless. It's a new found hobby of mine, and one I've learned to enjoy.

6. ...so is doing the dishes. I hate doing dishes.They're just like laundry. You do them and, as soon as you're done, there's more to do. But, doing dishes with Beanie? So much fun. She's taught me that there really isn't anything you can't make fun.

7. Trust your instincts. Whether in regards to switching to midwife care at 34 weeks pregnant or being the parent your gut is telling you to be, becoming a mother has taught me that my instincts are usually right. Trust yours.

8. There is joy in the littlest things. The other day Beanie's eyes lit up as we shared a banana. A quick hug. A family dance party. A simple "I love you." An ear-to-ear grin as she learns to ride her bike. Heading to the park, going for a walk, reading stories together while her brother sleeps. It's not the big things we do or places we go that really make an impact; it's the little things each and every day that bring us the most joy.

9. Life without wheat, dairy and soy "ain't that bad." Sure, there are times that are harder than others, but being on a restricted diet due to Bubby's food sensitivities has been rewarding. I feel a lot healthier. The change in Bubby has been remarkable. We've explored new foods and found that different isn't bad. In fact, a lot of times it's better.

10. Take time for yourself. You're worth it. I struggle with this, but have found that I really am a better mom (and wife and all-around person) when I take time for myself. You can't be everything to everyone. Or, if you're like me and a mom who really tries to be, you need to make sure and include yourself on that list. I'm trying to share this lesson with Beanie as she gets older; she no longer naps, but she does need a mid-day refresher and I want her to know that's okay. She has even started to ask for some "quiet time for herself."

What lessons have your children taught you?

***

Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon January 11 with all the carnival links.)

Affection — Alicia at I Found My Feet has finally become a hugger and kisser, now she has someone sweet and small to snuggle with. (@aliciafagan)
Learning from Daniel — Amy at Anktangle hopes that she and her husband will always be open to learning from their son. (@anktangle)
Kids Cultivate Awareness of Universal Truths — From forgiveness to joy, Amy Phoenix at Innate Wholeness has become aware of deep truths that come naturally to children. (@InnateWholeness)
What the Apple Teaches the Tree — Becky at Future Legacy has learned about imagination, forgiveness, and strength.
A Lesson in Slowing Time — Bethy at Bounce Me To the Moon revels in the chance to just be with her baby.
Learning From My Children: I Am So Honored — WAHM Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey is learning to choose tea parties over work. (@MyMotheringPath)
P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E — Now that she's a mother, Danielle at born.in.japan is finally learning about a personality trait she lacked. (@borninjp)
Top 5 Homeschool Lessons My Children Taught Me — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares what she learned from homeschooling her (now grown) children. (@DebChitwood)
Learning to Live in the Present By Looking to the Future — Dionna at Code Name: Mama finds the patience to be a gentle parent, because she knows how fleeting childhood really is. (@CodeNameMama)
The watchful Buddha boy — At Dreaming Aloud, they are learning to cherish their thoughtful, sensitive child in a action-driven, noisy world. (DreamingAloudNt)
What My Children Taught Me — Dulce de Leche's children have taught her to value herself for the wonderful person and mother she is.
Lessons from the First Year — Having a child made Emily at Crunchyish Mama realize that her decisions affect more than just herself. (@CrunchyishMama)
Lessons from Loss — Erica at ChildOrganics learned so much from the love — and loss — of her sweet Bella, five years ago. (@ChildOrganics)
The Socratic Baby — Erin at Multiple Musings has so-called "identical" twins to serve as a daily lesson in nature vs. nurture. (@ErinLittle)
Learning to be a Mother — Farmer's Daughter learned the type of patience that enabled her to calmly eat one-handed for months and change clothes seven times a day, before noon. (@FarmDaughter)
A Few Things Being a Mom Has Taught Me — Heather at Musing Mommy shares the curious, hilarious, and sometimes Murphy's Law-like tidbits we learn from our children. (@xakana)
I Feel You — Motherhood has taught Jamey from At the Bee Hive empathy, and it extends beyond just her child. (@JameyBly)
Lessons From My Child… — Jenny at I'm a full-time mummy shares the inspiring ways she's learned to expect the unexpected — and have a camera ready! (@imaftmummy)
My child is my mirror — Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama has seen herself in her children – and it's not bad. (@crunchychewy)
There is enough to go around… — Kellie at Our Mindful Life learned that love doesn't diminish when it's shared.
Learning From Our Children, Every Day — Kimberly at Homeschooling in Nova Scotia, Canada is continually inspired by her children. (@UsborneBooksCB)
Life Lessons From My Children — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood has learned that every slug is fascinating, doing the dishes is fun, and sharing a banana is a delight. (@crunchymamato2)
Things I've Learned From My Children — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings uses pictures to share what she has learned from her children. (@sunfrog)
Beyond the questions lies the answer — Lauren at Hobo Mama stopped wondering and started knowing — loving and liking our children comes naturally. (@Hobo_Mama)
Learning from Children — Lily, aka Witch Mom, finds out just how enchanting balloons can be. (@LilyShahar)
Life-long Learning — Lindsay at Living in Harmony has learned that what works for one kid might not work for another. (@AttachedMama)
Walking alongside my daughter — Lindsey at Mama Cum Laude is learning to give the clock less power over her family's life.
Things my baby taught me about me — Luschka at Diary of a First Child is proud of how she has grown as a mother. (@lvano)
From my children, I have learned — Mama Mo at Attached at the Nip has a litany of beautiful lessons, from selflessness to sleeplessness.
The Little Things in Life — In a simple and lovely prose poem, Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children shows how adults worry about the wrong things and forget the little, important ones: watching ladybugs, jumping in leaves, cherishing each moment as it comes.
The Virtues of Motherhood — Melissa at The New Mommy Files has had opportunities to learn from children as both a teacher and a mother. (@NewMommyFiles)
My Kids Have Taught Me That It's Time To Stop Blogging — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has learned that childhoods fly by too fast to blog. We'll miss your wonderful online presence, Melodie, and we wish you much peace and happiness. (@bfmom)
Having Kids Has Taught me a Thing or Two — Michelle at The Parent Vortex learns all day long — from fun facts about hedgehogs to tying a complicated wrap with a screaming child and an audience. (@TheParentVortex)
We Could All Learn from the Children — Momma Jorje takes time to get on the floor and play so that she can see the world through her child's eyes.
Teaching Forgiveness — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog has a daughter who's taught her unconditional love — even when she feels like she does't deserve it. (@littlegreenblog)
Parenting as a joint venture — Olivia at Write About Birth appreciates watching the astonishing way her children learn. (@writeaboutbirth)
Beginner's Mind — Rachael at The Variegated Life learns from a child who builds bridges to nowhere, calls letter magnets his numbers, and insists dinnertime is truck time. (@RachaelNevins)
A baby's present — RS at A Haircut and a Shave presents a short poem on the differences between a baby's mindfulness and ours.
Self-Confidence Was Born With My Daughter — Sara at Halfway Crunchy learned to trust her instincts by responding to her child's needs — and saw her self-confidence bloom.
From the Kids — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante has one list of earnest and one list of silly things she has learned as a parent. (@seonaid_lee)
Lessons my children have taught me — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes learned that attachment parenting was the best way to meet the needs of her child and herself. (@Sheryljesin)
Till the water is clear — Stacy at Mama-Om has learned that her energy can affect the weather patterns of her house. (@mama_om)
I Hold It — Stefanie at Very, Very Fine has learned that the ability to communicate is much more important than the number of words a child knows.
What My Children Taught Me About Letting Go — Summer at Finding Summer is learning from her kids to laugh in the face of heartache. (@summerminor)
Finding My Tools — The Artsymama has applied some of what she's learned as a mama in the classroom, with great results!

Menu Plan Monday 01/10

2011-01-10T07:42:00.000-08:00

Time for our weekly menu planning. As I posted earlier, we did reintroduce wheat into my diet last week, but we are still keeping our dinners gluten-free. I am starting to feel better, but the reintroduction was a lot harder on my system than I thought it would be. Whether I'm sensitive to wheat or not, I imagine I will never eat it quite the way I used to. I just feel better without it. Bubby seems to be doing well still. If this continues we will probably try to introduce to him shortly, or at least as soon as he starts eating a bit more table food.

A few of our dinners are "recycled" from last week as we had a crazy few days. We had leftovers twice and ended up going out for pho one night.

As always, we plan Saturday - Friday because that's how we roll! All dinners are gluten-free, dairy-free and soy-free, or easily adapted to be.

Indonesian Chicken

Saturday: Breakfast for dinner. Egg scramble with potatoes, peppers, sausage, bacon and avocado.
Sunday: Chicken fajitas
Monday: Indonesian Chicken
Tuesday: Beans & Rice
Wednesday: Leftover Buffet
Thursday: Meatloaf muffins with mashed potatoes and green salad
Friday: Kielbasa with potatoes, peppers & onions

I'm linked up over at I'm an Organizing Junkie so click on over for more menu planning ideas.

Banana Bread

2011-01-09T21:11:00.000-08:00

Banana Bread

I've tinkered with this banana bread recipe a few times, but we finally got it to turn out perfect! This is Glenn's grandma's recipe.

Banana Bread

Ingredients:

1/2 c Earth Balance dairy-free soy-free "butter"
1 c sugar
2 eggs
2 c gluten-free flour (I use Bob's Red Mill All Purpose Gluten Free Baking Flour)
1 tsp xanthan gum
1 tsp baking soda
3 mashed bananas (very ripe)
1/4c chopped nuts (if desired -- I always leave out)

Directions:

Cream "butter" and sugar.
Add eggs and beat well, then add flour, xanthan gum, and baking soda.
Crush bananas and mix in. Add nuts.
Place in greased pan (I use Spectrum palm shortening) and bake at 350 degrees for an hour. Check with toothpick to see if it comes out clean.

Enjoy!